I think about raising the veil off my body. I strip off my clothes and stand naked. I begin tearing at my belly, my legs, and my arms as though I might rip it off me. And since my fingernails aren’t much use, I run to the table, searching for anything that might be able to help. I find only some knives that I have saved from my food trays—plastic knives, now that metal ones are forbidden. I begin scratching and scraping as much as I can, in case the veil is invisible and beneath it I will find my actual skin, a skin that still feels, still senses, that still shivers in the cold …

“N!”

Luqman startled me with a yell before pulling me to him in a powerful embrace. “What are you doing to yourself, you crazy man?” he said in a whisper. His voice is different this time, and it’s as though he is choking back hot tears that catches in his throat. “You’re all bloody!” he said, stepping back and taking the knives out of my hand. “Come. I’ll put you in the bath.”

He led me by the arm and made me stand under the spray of the shower. The water poured over me and ran down the drain with a faint red tinge. He asked if the soap burned, and I shook my head, staring at him, submitting to his movements. I was afraid he would disappear if I so much as blinked.

“I’ve been waiting for you for days. Ever since I saw you down there, leaning against the lamppost. At first I was terrified, I ran to barricade the door with everything I could find. But do you know what? I’m not afraid of you anymore.”

He brought me out from under the water and wrapped me in a large towel that he began pressing against me gently to avoid irritating my wounds. I smiled and told him not to worry too much because they were superficial injuries that did not hurt, that what actually hurt was buried deep inside, where no hand could reach. My breath kept catching with involuntary sighs, the kind that come after a bout of crying when a warm embrace comforts you. Meanwhile, Luqman dressed me, combed my hair, and brought me out to the other room to make me lie down on the bed. He gently pulled the comforter over me.

“Do you love me?” I asked. No reply. After several moments of silence, I added, “Won’t you stay here with me tonight?”