‘You’re disgusting!’ she cried, swimming away from him. She couldn’t stand even to look at him. She tried to put a foot to the floor but it was too deep, the water closing over her head. She surfaced again with a gasp. It sounded like a sob.

‘Is that what it’ll take before anyone forgives me?’ he shouted at her back, not giving up as she staggered away. ‘I need to fucking die too?’

She stopped at the words and turned back at him. His voice had cracked and he was staring at her with a different look. The wildness, the anger, the contempt had shifted into something else.

She stared at him. He wasn’t joking. He wasn’t trying to repulse her.

‘Of course not.’ Her voice was quiet and thin with shock. ‘Kit, no. No one wants you dead. You can’t honestly believe that?’

He looked away; she could see the tension in his jaw as he tried to draw back. To hold back. She could see he felt he had said too much, revealed himself. He shook his head just once and began wading back to the shallow end; he was unable to pull himself out at the sides, the bruises on his ribs still vivid on his torso, the shadows of the punches that had rained upon him.

‘Kit!’ she said, reaching for him with her arm as he went to pass her, but he shook her off like a fly on a horse.

‘Don’t pretend to give a damn.’

She lunged in front of him, blocking his way. ‘I’m concerned! How can you think anyone would want that to happen to you?’

He stared back at her. ‘Just admit it. You’d be glad.’

‘No!’ She shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t. Of course I wouldn’t.’

He stepped closer to force her out of the way but she didn’t move this time. She wouldn’t let him bully her again, using his size to intimidate her.

She could feel the hairs on his leg against her skin underwater and a moment contracted as they processed their sudden proximity to one another. It felt dangerous to be that close to him. He was clearly not okay and experience had shown her he was unpredictable at the best of times.

He stared down at her. ‘I know you’re a good person, Clover.’ There was a curl to his lip. ‘You’re everything I’m not. You want justice and rainbows. You tried to save me in that fight. You tried saving me just now. It’s your instinct, you can’t help it.’ His voice was low and flat and sarcastic. ‘But a part of you, deep down inside, also believes I’d deserve it. Just admit it.’

She shook her head again. ‘No.’