Bonaventure wasn’t too far, about a twenty-minute drive, three times that or more for a bike ride.

The sun was going down. I didn’t have a lot of extra time, but I needed my grandmother and her knowledge, and her house was mostly on the way. So, I headed there first. In four days, it would be on the open market. Someone would get it in an auction. Himself would get a handsome payday. Gran would be stuck with people she didn’t know. And probably wouldn’t like. Maybe when I died, I would haunt the place with her.

I hopped onto my bike, took a couple of pedals and realized that my luck had taken another turn for the worse. Both tires were flat. I got off the bike with a few muttered curses. Dropping the bike where I was, I broke into a limping, foot-aching jog that took me to Gran’s house in more time than the bike would have, and produced plenty of sweat. Feeling like I was too old for this was a constant refrain I kept pushing back. Positive thinking, that was what I needed. I was not old; I was midlife at best.

Forty was the new twenty or something like that, right?

I let myself in the back door—seeing as it was broken anyway, no point in using the front door. “Gran?”

She hurried (if floating quickly just above the ground could be considered hurrying) toward me, moving through the barren kitchen. “Did you find him?”

“I think so.” I leaned against the closed door. I dug into my bag and pulled out the Advil, downing three of them. I needed all the help I could get at this point. “Gran, what the hell am I doing? I know that you taught me a lot of this, to help you, to protect you and the secrets of the shadow world. But that was a long time ago!” I rubbed both sides of my head. “And . . . I . . .” I didn’t know how to tell her the worst of it.

She drew closer to me, her eyes as real and solid as if she were still alive. “What is it?”

Even now, with her dead, I didn’t want to stress her out. I sighed and slid down the door. “I’m old, Gran! I know you don’t see it that way because here you are dead as a doornail but still floating around!” I waved an impatient hand at her. “How the hell can I do this? How can I save Eric and Feish when I hurt everywhere. I’m exhausted. I don’t remember all the stuff you taught me . . . and I don’t know who to trust! I can’t do this! I need to do this, and I just don’t know if I can!” I was yelling by that last bit, and all the energy slid out of me. “I’m sorry.”