“Cataloguing whale shit?”

They all laughed.

“She’s been cave diving,” said Rad.

“You’re kidding me!” he said. “After everything that happened…?”

Elsa shrugged. “It’s what I was meant to do, I suppose. And I’m remarried now. My husband, Bart, is also a diver. It’s what makes us happy.”

“Congratulations on finding love again. And you should have brought the lucky gentleman because…this award I’m receiving tonight, it really should be for the both of us. You were right there with me the entire time—”

“Nonsense, Marty. I was a tag-along on that trip. That’s all I ever was. No—let me finish. I was a tag-along, and I simply happened to be with you when you made a discovery that your whole life had been building toward. And since then—well, I’ve kept tabs on you. You’ve single-handedly legitimized the scientific discipline of sirentology. So please don’t utter anything so foolish again, or I might just get up and leave.”

“A toast,” Rad said, raising her champagne flute.

Elsa and Marty raised their glasses also.

“To?” Elsa said.

“To old friends,” Marty said, and they all clinked to that.

Rad added, “And perhaps another cave dive, for old time’s sake?”

Marty shook his head. “No bloody way.”

The lights in the auditorium dimmed. They turned their attention to the stage. A young British comedian, who had likely been in diapers when Marty and Elsa had been trapped beneath Demon Island, strut out onto the stage. He had spiky red hair and skintight white clothing that clung to his beanpole figure.

Microphone in hand, he said, “Welcome, ladies and gents, to the 118th Academy Awards— Wait, no, what? Where am I? Don’t tell me I’m having that dream again of MCing the World Mammal Conference. Blimey O’Reilly, I am! Just look at this crowd. There’ve never been so many nerds sitting together since Bill Gates’ funeral. Where’s Dr. Murdoch? Oi, there you are. Welcome to the preview of your own funeral, mate.” Slightly uncomfortable laughter from the audience. “No, no, let’s not get dark. We’re here to celebrate your life and achievements. So let me start off with an oldy but a goody. Why did the merfolk cross the road?” A pause. “Because The Merdoc was stalking it with an assault rifle.” More laughter, this time relaxed and genial. “I ain’t kidding. Scientists are supposed to be nerdy, like all of you folks, and here you have a bloke that makes Rambo seem like a boy scout. No joke. Rambo took on a bunch of hick cops in the woods. Dr. Murdoch took on an underwater hive of bloodthirsty mermaids. Stabs one in the neck, shreds another with enough lead to make a…I don’t fuckin’ know. Shoots a third between the eyes. I’m surprised he didn’t choke one with his bare hands.”