Chapters (27)
- Title Page
- Map
- Dedication
- Part I
- Welcome to Forever
- Open Your Eyes
- No Going Back
- Love Is War
- Meant to Be
- Part II
- Not Enough Sky
- A Better World
- We Are Here
- Till Next Time
- Look Behind You
- Part III
- The Vanishing Now
- Never Means Never
- Nothing to Lose
- Follow the Light
- Who We Are
- In the Stars
- Only One Choice
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Copyright
- About the Publisher
He walks on across the Hohenzollernbrücke, averting his eyes from the padlocks. Inside the Odysseum, he holds up his hostel card until the clerk waves him through the turnstile. A tremor of meaning follows him into the room of false stars. The museum is quiet. One other person stands next to him on the gantry, staring up at the velvet dark studded with random lights. He knows before he looks that it is Thora.
There is a message here, a code for him to decipher. As usual, he can’t concentrate hard enough to understand. Thora stands next to him without looking at him, following the unwritten rule of public spaces. Santi savors the asymmetric knowledge it gives him. Alone, together, they look up at the map of a cosmos that never existed. Her hand moves as if to catch hold of the glowing lights.
“Why are you with me?” she says quietly.
Santi’s heart jumps. Then he sees the phone cradled in her other hand, hears a woman’s voice on the other end. He listens, eyes fixed on the stars.
“I mean, what did I do?” Thora asks. “When was the moment you decided—this is it, it’s working, I’ll stay?”
Santi hears the distant echo of an answer. Whatever it is doesn’t satisfy Thora. She turns, paces away from him. “There must have been a moment. There must have been something I did that made it different.” A pause. “Not different. I mean . . .” She puts a hand to her head. “Sorry. I just—I had a really weird day yesterday. Yeah. I’ll tell you about it when I get home. Okay. Love you.” She hangs up. She breathes into her hands, then lifts her head to the velvet sky.
Santi can’t hold back any longer. “You’re a stargazer too.”
She turns. When she recognizes him, he sees fear in her eyes. “Mr. López. I—didn’t know it was you.”
He realizes: she thinks he followed her here. Something in him responds by wanting to reassure her. “I come here a lot,” he explains, although what kind of explanation is that?
“Do you now,” she murmurs.
He can tell she doesn’t believe him. It brings a different emotion, belonging to a different person: anger, at how dismissive she can be. He hears his voice adjust, a stranger speaking through him. “What are you doing here?” Because he has to know, has to unravel this before it unravels him.