“I want you to know I think you’re probably the best person I’ve ever known. You have the face of an angel, the heart of a warrior and the backbone needed to put up with me. I would like for you, Jenny Wilks, to come along with me the rest of the way, to build an amazing future together that also pays homage to the past you shared with Toby. I want to bring him with us, too, because he’s part of you and thus part of who we are together. I love you, I need you, I believe I’ve proven I want you, but I’m available to provide additional evidence upon request.”

Jenny laughed as she wiped away tears.

“I know I’m asking a lot of you by bringing you into my family at this particular juncture, but I’m hoping you’ll be by my side wherever this journey we’re on with my mom takes us.”

“Alex…”

“Wait, I’m not finished. This is the important part. I want us to have a family together and watch them grow up and then get really, really old together, but still have a lot of sex. I’ll take the little blue pills if necessary, but let’s hope to God it doesn’t come to that.”

She laughed even harder. “You’ve landed your spot in the history books as the first guy to bring erectile dysfunction into a marriage proposal.”

“I believe these things should never be left to chance,” he said gravely.

“Are you done now?”

“I think I might be.”

She leaned forward to give him a lingering kiss. “You had me at the best person you know, and you sealed the deal with Toby.”

“So, wait… I could’ve skipped the rest of it?”

“Not on your life, buster. That would’ve been the most romantically hilarious proposal in recorded history, except for one small detail.”

“What small detail?”

She rolled her eyes. “I can tell you’ve never done this before.”

“You’re damned right I’ve never done this before, and I can’t believe you’re actually critiquing me.”

His righteous indignation sent her into hysterical laughter. “You never asked the question, dummy!”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t. I would’ve remembered that.”

“Fine,” he said with a scowl. “Are you going to marry me or not?”

Jenny raised a brow, letting him know he’d have to do better than that.

“Will you officially be my ball and chain so all the pain you inflict upon me will come with legally required sex?”

She shook her head, shaking with silent laughter.