‘It’s not like I’m hacking into the Pentagon,’ he says. ‘So what are we changing?’

‘Hmm.’ I scroll through the results on my phone. ‘Most likely to win gold at the Olympics. That should quite obviously have gone to you!’

‘Nah,’ he says. ‘My future is right here at the keyboard. Let’s give it to Bec. She’s the one who’s actually got a shot at a career in this.’ His tongue sticks out as he concentrates. ‘Bec for hottest girl too, right?’

‘Obviously.’ I refresh the page to see the results changing in real time.

It’s incredible to watch. He could probably have hacked into the school system and given us all perfect grades if he wasn’t so honest. Humanity would do well not to piss him off and create the next supervillain. The world should be grateful he insists on using his powers for good.

‘I’ll let Tiffany keep Most popular,’ he finally says as he finishes knocking her out of every other category. ‘Just so she doesn’t have a meltdown.’

‘Generous,’ I say. ‘Though she’s gonna have a meltdown regardless. God forbid she doesn’t win absolutely everything.’

Chase gives me a satisfied smile and goes to close his laptop.

‘Wait,’ I say. ‘Do you think you could change one last thing?’

‘You want Cameron for hottest boy, don’t you?’

‘He deserves it! Rhys already gets everything.’

‘But I think Rhys won this one fair and square. We’re not snatching that away from him just because you disagree with the result.’

I groan. ‘I just hate how everyone is so obsessed with him. If I hear about his dancing pecs one more time! I get it – we love masculinity. It’s the holy grail of attractiveness. But can we just have a little bit more love for the feminine boys?’

‘And by “feminine boys” you mean Cameron?’ Chase raises an eyebrow. ‘Need I remind you that he and his brother have over sixty thousand followers? That sounds like plenty of love to me.’

‘Rhys would probably have double that if he wasn’t so bad at social media.’ I snort. ‘The other day he posted a picture of the toilet, Chase. The toilet.’

Chase laughs at that. ‘Do you know what I think, Zach?’

‘I have a feeling I’m not gonna like it …’

‘I think maybe – just maybe – you’re a teeny-tiny bit jealous.’

‘Oh, whatever!’

‘The only reason you dislike Rhys is because you quite clearly fancy his boyfriend.’

‘Kellen?’ I splutter. I don’t know why Chase always says this. Him and Bec are obsessed with the idea of me and Kellen. ‘I do not fancy Kellen.’

‘Mmm-hmm,’ he says. ‘Sure you don’t. And you don’t secretly think Rhys is hot either. The three of you would make a cute throuple, actually. Maybe after prom you can all head down to the boathouse and engage in a little ménage à trois?’