‘Do you see? He has softer features, styles his hair better, and he has that adorable little love-heart-shaped birthmark.’

‘What birthmark?’ Chase snatches the phone and squints at it. ‘That tiny thing underneath his eye? It looks more like a pimple.’

I snatch the phone back. ‘It’s a love heart,’ I say firmly.

‘All right, it’s a love heart …’ He holds his hands up defensively.

‘Besides,’ I say, ‘it’s his personality that makes the real difference.’

‘Yeah,’ Chase drawls. ‘I’m sure it’s his personality you’re thinking about under the covers at three a.m ….’

I’m sure I don’t know what he’s talking about.

‘I’m serious!’ I say, looking at a picture of the two of them in their burgundy school blazers. They’re standing outside the main entrance, the castle-like structure towering behind them. Ethan is clenching his jaw, smouldering, while Cameron is cheesing with this big dorky grin. ‘Cameron isn’t afraid of what others think of him. But Ethan? He’s just so …’

‘Arrogant? Pretentious? Deeply unlikeable?’

‘I was about to say “insecure”.’ I laugh. ‘But whatever. He just doesn’t have that … something. That special spark that Cameron does.’

‘Oddly romantic,’ Chase says. ‘You really should make a move, you know. You’ve mooned over him from afar for two years. Now here we are on the last day of school. With a masquerade-themed prom ahead of us! It’s begging for a little romance, Zach.’

‘I know.’ I let out a long-drawn-out sigh as I hear Cameron laughing with one of his teammates. How is it possible that one boy can be so perfect? ‘I want to make a move. Like I really want to. But look at him. He could have literally anyone he wants.’

‘Yeah, I hear he’s got both Kit Connor and Joe Locke sliding into his DMs.’

‘I wouldn’t be surprised!’ I’m already conjuring up images of that episode of Heartstopper. But it would never happen. Putting so many cute boys in one place is against the laws of physics. I’m pretty sure the universe would fold in on itself.

‘I know you think he’s on this whole other level, Zach, but he’s single and not dating anyone. Sure, he’s hot, but you know that under the flawless skin he’s no different to the rest of us, right? I’m sure he wants his prom-night kiss just like everyone else.’

‘Everyone else?’ I say. ‘But what about you? You don’t want that. What happened to “no boys till university”?’

Chase flaps me away. ‘That’s because I’m not ready yet. It’s different. You know, I often wish I had some trans friends to talk about this stuff with? I love you, Zach, but sometimes it’s like you really don’t get it.’