Hello, pear-shaped thing Madzikanda tried to warn me about. I want the ground to actually swallow me up.

‘Then why did you want to talk to me?’

‘I thought you might know if the feeling was mutual. To save me humiliating myself.’

‘Like I just did …’ I groan. ‘So who is it then? Josh? Chase?’

He looks down at his feet like he can’t bring himself to say it.

‘It’s not Owen, is it?’

‘Owen? No, Zach. It’s Bec.’

‘Bec?!’ I splutter. ‘But you’re gay!’

‘I’m not gay, Zach.’

‘What?!’ I protest. ‘There’s a rainbow flag in your bio! You’ve always been the queer twin! That’s literally your USP.’

‘Yeah, exactly,’ he says. ‘Queer. I’m bisexual, Zach. I thought you knew that … I thought everyone knew that.’

How the hell did I not know that?!

‘Well, now I feel like an idiot.’

‘It’s fine. It’s not your fault. Everyone always forgets the B in LGBT. You come out as bisexual and everyone just refers to you as the gay kid.’

‘So you like girls then?’

‘And guys,’ he says with a laugh. ‘That’s kinda how the whole “bisexual” thing works.’ He meets my eyes. ‘For what it’s worth, I did use to like you too, you know?’

‘Use to?’ What does he mean use to?

‘Back when you first got here. I thought you were ultra cute. I wanted to make a move, but then I got shy. Then you and Josh started dating and –’

‘We were never dating!’ I exclaim. ‘We hooked up one time!’

‘Well, whatever.’ He laughs. ‘Josh was my friend. I wasn’t gonna try and steal you away from him, so I kind of ruled you out after that. I still think you’re cute, but …’

‘Your heart is elsewhere.’ I follow his gaze over to Bec. She’s by the yearbook, no doubt furiously scribbling down the immortal words of Ms Swift.

His eyes light up as he looks at her. How did none of us see this sooner? I feel like this should bother me more – my crush liking my friend more than me – but I don’t know: it weirdly feels like a silver lining. Maybe my heart is elsewhere too.

‘Do you think she might feel the same?’ he asks hopefully.

‘I honestly couldn’t say,’ I answer. Bec has never openly expressed an interest in Cameron, but then maybe she also thought he was gay? ‘I could go over and play Cupid if you like?’

‘No,’ Cameron says, taking a deep breath. ‘I’ve done enough pussyfooting around. I’m a big boy. I can talk to her …’

But, just as he says it, the lights go out.

The music stops too. And now all that’s left is the sound of alarmed voices and candles flickering in the darkness. This can’t be good …