Then tied their tails in knots.

I kicked their bottoms o’er the walls

With javelins an’ slingshots,

When suddenly behind me back,

Some foulbeast shouted ‘Charge!’

An’ twenty-three came right at me,

Those villains were quite large.

So I got me trusty salad fork,

An’ jabbed ’em here’n’there,

I left ’em weepin’, full o’ holes,

‘Oh save us from that hare!’

Well I grabbed a fleein’ Marlfox,

An’ punched him on the snout,

Both his boots went flyin’ off,

I gave him such a clout!

Those rats were dirty fighters,

Out came me old soup ladle,

The cowardly pack o’ blighters,

Fled fast as they were able.

I chased ’em, laughin’ bravely,

Haharr now off you pop,

I’m the warrior who saved Redwall,

An’ me last name’s Wilffachop!”

Unknown to the garrulous hare, Bargle and Mayon were watching the performance. The two Guosim shrews sat concealed by a berry hedge, observing Florian’s wild contortions as he declaimed his outrageous ode. They were not sure whether to scowl or laugh.

“Modest ole beast, ain’t ’e, mate?”

“I wonder who taught ’im t’dance, a mad caterpillar?”

“Even a scalded frog couldn’t prance about like that. I’ve never seen a creature’s paws, tail, ears’n’whiskers goin’ so many different ways at one time!”

“Oh, haharrharr! Ole Florian’s fell flat on ’is tail. I knew ’e would. Couldn’t keep up a twirlin’ jig like that!”

Sister Sloey, assisted by Rimrose and Ellayo, was checking up on Redwallers who had sustained injuries during the fighting. A line formed on the stairs to the Infirmary, the patients mainly shrews who had slingshot or arrow wounds that needed re-dressing. Rimrose finished neatly bandaging a Guosim paw. “There you are, Splikker, good as new. Keep it dry now, that cut is healing nicely. Next!”

Ellayo and Sloey were applying a compress of wet herbs to the head of a mole who had been hit by a slingstone.

“Don’t worry, sir, that bump is smaller than ’twas yesterday. Do you still feel dizzy at all?”

The mole touched a heavy digging claw to the swelling on his brow. “Oi be foine now, thankee, marm. Doan’t feels loik oi gotten two ’eads no more, hurr hurr!”

There was a commotion on the stairway. Florian was pushing his way to the front of the line. “I say, make way for a warrior, you chaps, pish’n’tush! Load of scratches an’ bumps, wot! A feller could be dyin’ for all you flippin’ lot care. Out o’ the confounded way, sir!” He came barging into the Infirmary, but did a smart about-turn when he saw three females in attendance. “Er, er, harrumph! Not t’worry, ladies, I’ll come back another time. Extremely busy, lots t’do, wot wot!”

Ellayo and Sister Sloey cut off his retreat to the door.

“What seems to be the matter, mister Florian?”