But she knew there was another, more pertinent reason for her failure to act. At some point she had crossed a line and fallen, very, very hard, for Tarrant.

Bash was right in one respect; she was far from being the first girl who had fallen for Tarrants undoubted charms, and she had hoped that awareness would help her maintain a certain emotional, if not physical, distance. But they were a long way from home, with a long way to go still and a long way back again, with none of the companionship and support of the Beauregards usual complement of crew. Under the circumstances, maintaining that distance proved to be much harder than shed thought.

She told herself that her nagging doubts meant nothing. The alternative explanation, after all, might be too much to bear.

Over the following weeks, the Calafat-Holt Cluster expanded towards them with each successive jump they made, until they had finally passed inside it. Megan spent long hours in the astrogation chair, the hard radiation baking the ships hull like warm sun directly on her skin, and the stellar dust flowing past the ships electromagnetic envelope like the kiss of a summer breeze.

And yet there were other things that concerned her, too. There were unusual readings emanating from the cargo pod that had come aboard the Beauregard just before their departure from Kjregrnnested, but Tarrant refused to let her check it out in person, saying hed prefer to take care of that personally.

Are you hiding something in that cargo pod? she finally asked him on one occasion.

No, he said. But we do have some materials on board which are vital to negotiating with the Wanderer.

Shouldnt I know what they are?

He had looked at her oddly. Dont make me say no, Megan.

She subsequently hated herself for not pushing harder. And the next time they made love, she did so with a furious passion, her desire mingled with anger at herself for being so weak.

You dont like it when people get too close, do you? Tarrant remarked to her, some time later, when they were just a few weeks out from the target system.

At that time, the ship was coasting at a steady velocity between jumps. The two of them floated together in a recreation sphere, the sweat still drying on their skin. Handholds and harnesses designed to overcome the physical limitations of zero-gravity sex floated around them like the fronds of deep-sea flora.

What do you mean? she asked.

I mean that sometimes your mind is clearly elsewhere: either running the ship or staring out at the stars.

Ive never done that, she argued, feeling slightly offended. When Im with you, Im with you.

He assumed a slightly more conciliatory tone. All Im saying is, its as if youre holding yourself back like youre afraid of getting too close.

Thats because I am, she said, gazing back at him frankly.