‘I’m off to London soon,’ he said, ‘did you know?’

‘I did hear.’

‘Big fight. National title. Honour of the camp and all that jazz.’

‘Good luck.’

‘Thanks.’

We smoked a little more.

‘You want to come?’

‘What?’

‘To London, wanker.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. Show me round. Protect me from perverts.’

‘Fuck off.’

Cigarettes finished, he filled the kettle and lit the gas ring.

‘I’m not coming back, you know.’

‘What?’

‘From London. I’m not coming back here.’

‘What are you talking about? You can’t go AWOL.’

‘Watch me.’

‘You’ll end up in the slammer.’

‘They’ll have to catch me first.’ He put a mug of tea in front of me, lit more cigarettes. ‘Shouldn’t be smoking, really. I’m supposed to be in training.’ He handed me the burning tobacco. ‘But then, we do a lot of things that we probably shouldn’t, don’t we?’

‘I suppose so.’ He was watching me as I sipped my tea.

‘What are you going to do, Mike? When I leave, I mean.’

‘Cry my eyes out for a few weeks, then get on with my life, I suppose.’

‘No, but really.’

‘That’s it. Really.’

‘Come to London.’

‘Okay. It’s easy enough on the train.’

‘I don’t mean for a visit. I mean for good.’

‘What’s the point, Mervyn? There’s nothing for me there.’ He carried on looking steadily at me. ‘Actually,’ I said, ‘I’m thinking of signing on as a regular.’

‘Fuck off.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it’s a fucking prison sentence.’

‘I’ll manage all right without you.’

‘You stupid cunt,’ he said, pacing around the room. ‘You can’t live like this. You’ll go mad. You’ll fucking kill yourself.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘You know perfectly fucking well what I’m talking about. Blackpool and that.’

‘Oh, that.’ It was the first time either of us had referred to it.

‘Yeah. That’s what you’re … like, isn’t it?’

‘Is it?’ My heart was beating fast, my mouth dry. I took more tea.

‘You could get out of here just like that, Mike.’ He snapped his fingers. ‘Just go along to the old man and tell him.’

‘What sort of future would I have, with that on my record?’

‘There’s always a reason with you, isn’t there?’

‘That’s none of your business.’

‘Yes it is. You are my business.’

‘Why, all of a sudden? After you’ve ignored me for the last God knows how many weeks?’

‘I was confused.’

‘And now you’re not?’

‘No.’ He stood over me. ‘I’m not. I’ve made up my mind. You’re the best mate I’ve had in the last stinking year of my life and I don’t want to throw that away.’

‘Throw what away? Our great love affair?’

‘Oh fuck off.’ He threw his cigarette butt to the floor, ground it out with his boot. ‘You’ve always got some fucking clever little remark, haven’t you?’

‘Look,’ I said, standing up. ‘I’m glad you’ve got big plans. I want you to succeed, and I think you will. But I can’t live like this, not knowing from one day to the next how things stand between us. One day I think you care about me, the next day … It’s like torture. Look at me, Mervyn, for fuck’s sake! Look at me! I’m a fucking wreck! You’ve done this to me.’