Making Friends is an Art

Julia Cook

Written by

Illustrated by

Julia Cook

Bridget A. Barnes

To Joy – EGTBOK

~Love, Julia

Thank you Terri!

Boys Town, Nebraska

Making Friends Is an Art!

Text and Illustrations Copyright © 2012, by Father Flanagan’s Boys’ Home
ISBN 978-1-934490-30-3

Published by the Boys Town Press
14100 Crawford St.
Boys Town, NE 68010

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Unless otherwise
noted, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without express
written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations or critical reviews.

Thanks
Anne

Page Design: Anne Hughes

Cook, Julia, 1964-

Making friends is an art! / written by Julia Cook ; illustrated by Bridget A. Barnes. --
Boys Town, NE : Boys Town Press, c2012.

p. ; cm.
(Building relationships ; 1st)

ISBN: 978-1-934490-30-3

Audience: grades 3-8.

Summary: Meet Brown, the least used pencil in the box. He discovers that in order to have
friends, he needs to be a good friend. If Brown learns to use all of the friendship skills the
other pencils have, he can make friends and have fun, too.

1. Friendship--Juvenile fiction. 2. Interpersonal relations in children--Juvenile fiction.
3. Children--Life skills guides--Juvenile fiction. 4. [Friendship--Fiction. 5. Interpersonal
relations--Fiction.] I. Barnes, Bridget A. II. Title. III. Series: Building relationships ; no. 1.

PZ7.C76984 M35 2012

E1202

Printed in the United States

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3

Boys Town Press is the publishing division of Boys Town,
a national organization serving children and families.

For a Boys Town Press catalog, call 1-800-282-6657

or visit our website: BoysTownPress.org

Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication Data

My name is Brown.

I spend a lot
of my time in a
pencil box with
a bunch of
other colors.

We are all different. Some of us are sharper than others.
Some of us are long and others are short.

And then there’s Red. Everybody loves Red.
She’s been sharpened so much that now she’s stubby.

We are all supposed to be friends,
but I don’t feel like I fit in very well.

First of all, I’m Brown … not exactly a favorite color.
I don’t get to color a lot like some of the others.

I’m the tallest pencil in the box
because I rarely need
to get sharpened.

I don’t have much to smile about.
I’m Brown, tall, and all by myself
… that’s me!

I wish I could be like the
other colors:

Black looks out for all of us.
Yellow always does what’s right.
Purple has hopes and dreams, and
won’t let us fight.

Dark Green is very trustworthy.
Pink listens to everyone.
Light Green is always honest, and
Orange just likes to have fun.

Blue gives all of us hugs
whenever we feel down.
Red does things with everyone,
and then there’s me … just Brown.

Sometimes, I complain a lot
to the other colors around.
At times, I’m disrespectful
and I usually wear a frown.

I hardly ever laugh
but the others laugh at me.
It’s hard to be kind to them
and show them empathy.

Yesterday, we were doing an art project at school,
and I was the only color in the box that didn’t get used.
Red got used so much that she had to get sharpened again!

Everyone likes Red, but nobody likes me.

I wish I could be more like Red.

I went to talk to Blue. She gave me a big hug,
but all she said was, “Making friends is a true art, Brown.
You just need to figure out how to use the right colors.”

I had no idea what Blue was talking about,
so I went to find Light Green because
I knew he would be honest with me.

“Friendship is one of the most precious gifts that there is,” he said.
“But to have good friends, you need to be a good friend,
and, Brown, you just aren’t a very good friend.
That’s why the rest of us don’t like to hang out with you.”

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked.

“Brown, you never laugh,
and you always put us down.
You think our opinions are silly,
and you usually wear a frown.

You like to disagree
with everything we say,
and you always complain,
like every single day!

You don’t even try to understand
where we are coming from.
Brown, doing things with you
just isn’t that much fun!”

“Wow! That’s a lot of stuff!” I said.

“My point is, Brown, that in order to have good friends,
you need to be a good friend. Besides, having good friends
can make you a better person.”

I thought about everything that Light Green said,
and then I went to talk to Red.

“You’re so lucky, Red! You have so many friends
and you get to color more than anyone.
I wish I was like you!”

“Well,” said Red. “I wish I was still tall like you!
Sometimes I get tired of coloring so much,
and getting sharpened gives me a headache.
Now, I’m so stubby that I can’t even see
outside of the pencil box.

I would give anything to be tall again like you.”

“As far as the friend thing goes,
even having just one good friend
can make a big difference.

But Brown, you have to know how to be
a good friend in order to make friends.

You can start by figuring out a way
to be your own best friend.

You can’t expect the other colors
to like you if you don’t like yourself.”

“There’s not much to like,” I said.

“Well, I see lots to like:

You’re tall.

You’re sharp,

and you get to be Brown!

Lucky you!!”

“How is being Brown lucky?”

“Brown is a very special color.
Once you realize that,
you’ll have more pencil friends
than you know what to do with.
And you just can’t have too many friends!”

I went to talk to Black.

“Red says I’m special because I’m Brown.”

“That you are,” said Black.

“Why?” I asked.

“Haven’t you noticed that when all of us are mixed together we make Brown?
You are a combination of all the colors. You just don’t realize it yet,
but you have everything inside you that it takes to be a great friend.”

“Your Black can look out for all of us.
Your Yellow can show us what’s right.
Your Purple can give us all hopes and dreams,
and your can help us not fight.”

“Your Dark Green can be very trustworthy.
Your Pink can listen to everyone.
Your Light Green will always be honest,
and your Orange can help us have fun.

Your Blue can give us great hugs
whenever we’re feeling down.
Your Red can do things with all of us.
See, you have it all, Brown!”

“Use all of the colors you’re made of,
And learn to like yourself.
Develop a sense of humor.
It’s good for pencil health.

Respect the rights of others.
Show empathy and be kind.
Be friendly and don’t complain.
It will work for you every time.”

I tried doing everything that Black told me to do,
and guess what?

It really worked!

First of all, I made a promise to myself
to stop putting other pencils down.

No putdowns!

I tried to smile at everyone whenever I got the chance,
and I didn’t even complain when
Yellow told me to straighten up in the box.

Blue felt sad the other day because she didn’t get used during art class.

I know better than anyone how bad that makes a pencil feel,
so I gave her a great big hug to help her get through it.

I let Orange and Pink teach me how to do the polka!

Purple started to tell me all about his dream to overtake the colored markers
and rise to the top of the art supply market.

Instead of rolling my eyes and ignoring him, I sat down and listened
to his whole idea, even though it took him like three years to tell it to me!

Actually, I ended up getting pretty excited!

Since Red feels bad about being stubby,
I figured out a way to help her.

I rolled around on a glue stick and
glued her to my side so she could be
tall again and see out of the pencil box!

I still don’t get to color as much as
the other colors do, but that’s okay.

Now I have more pencil friends
than I know what to do with!

But just like Red says,
you can’t have too many friends.

I just LOVE being Brown!

“Class … today I would like you to take out your colored pencils
and draw a picture of a big Brown grizzly bear!”

Yippee!

FRIENDSHIPS ARE VERY IMPORTANT when it comes to our emotional health! A lack of friends can have devastating effects on a child. Children who struggle with making and keeping friends often experience mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. They are also more likely to get into trouble and drop out of school.

To a child, having even just one good friend can make a huge difference. Research shows it is not the quantity of friends children have that matters, it’s the quality of even one or two good relationships. You can help your children or students become better at making and keeping friends by teaching them three basic social skills:

and pout when things don’t go his way? Or, is your child excessively shy and quiet around other children, afraid to try new activities, or reluctant to join a group?

to your child.

Relate the skill to his world-view by attaching it to a situation the child has experienced. Demonstrate how to effectively use the skill. (For example: “You told me there’s a new student in your class that you’d like to know and be friends with. If you want to introduce yourself to him, look at him, smile, and say something like ‘Hi, my name is Jason. Would you like to play catch with me during recess?’”)

(“Now

pretend I’m the new student and introduce yourself to me. What would you say?”)

To teach these skills to a child, you must first
figure out what the child is already doing right
and then what the child needs to learn to do
better. Specific needs vary from child to
child and situation to situation. Here
are some tips:

objec-

tively in social settings and
compare his interactions to those
of well-liked children.

that your

child needs to learn or use more effectively. For example, does your child interrupt others, always try to “be the boss,” act aggressively toward others, or cry

Always start by telling your child what he

did right and then what he can improve on.

Remember to teach … not criticize.

Teaching social skills

will never be as easy as it sounds, and we are all at different levels of learning. Always try to practice what you preach. Remember: Making friends is an ART! – so get out the pencils, practice, and use lots of paper!!!

For more parenting
information, visit:

How to break the ice with kids
they haven’t met before.

How to act positively with others.

How to manage conflict
constructively.

Observe your child

Isolate the skill(s)

Explain the steps of the skill

Help your child practice the skill.

Give your child constructive feedback.

Be patient.

Making Friends is an Art

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