“Thanks for the ride,” I say, my back turned. “Logan, can we talk?”

Logan and I sit in Charvan’s front seats, alone. We both look out the windshield, too afraid to look at each other. But the others are waiting, and we’ve already sat in silence too long. We need to get this over with.

“I have to admit,” Logan says, beating me to it, “I did not love seeing Seidon hit on you like that, as entertaining as it might have been.”

I don’t respond right away, because I’m pretty sure I feel another but coming on. Besides, I’m still not sure what to make of this whole Seidon thing. It just does not compute: Who would ever be attracted to me over Logan?

“But still, it was kind of exciting, wasn’t it?” Logan finishes.

Considering this question, something suddenly shifts. There are still mountains of mess to sort through, but in this moment, I know there’s only one way for me to begin doing so. Turning to Logan, I know…

I’m furious about how Logan kept this from me, about not being enough for him. So I need some space to sort through what I want next.

Click here

I’m not really okay with how Logan handled this, but I don’t want to lose him. So I tell him it’s okay—at least until I decide maybe it’s not.

Click here

“I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret,” I say, my voice chillier than I intend. It just feels like right now if I give an inch, a mile of myself might collapse. “I think I need some time to sort through all this on my own.”

“But, Chase…” Logan tries. “It’s me. We can talk about anything.”

“Can we?” I ask, my implication clear. “You already told me what you want. So this isn’t about us anymore. It’s about deciding what I want, isn’t it?”

Logan appears crushed, like I’m suddenly a stranger to him.

Good. Now he knows how it feels.

“It wasn’t an ultimatum, Chase,” Logan says, his tone pleading. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want.”

“You don’t mean that,” I say, my voice nearly cracking. “You can’t just take it back and make it disappear.”

It occurs to me that all I want to do in this moment is bury myself in Logan’s shoulder. He’s the one who tells me it’s all going to be fine when something goes wrong. He’s the safe place I go when things aren’t right. So what do I do now that he’s the cause of the wrong?

“Really, Logan. I just… I need to think. And I can’t do that with you here.”