We soon find ourselves at a gas station, refueling in several ways. Logan offered to drive through the night to the final set of coordinates, since he has the energy for it and we don’t want to risk being followed again. In preparation, Amelia and Cleo went into the convenience store to compile a makeshift dinner of chips and candy. Though obviously they just wanted to leave Logan and me alone as we refill the tank.

“You know the real reason I came back, right?” Logan says the first moment it’s just the two of us. “I needed to see you. To talk to you before it’s too late.”

Too late for what? I want to ask, but I also know something has shifted in me after today.

“I’m happy you came back. Really,” I say. “It’s been hard without you. But I need to ask something of you. Something that might not be fair?”

I pause for Logan’s approval, but he just waits for me to name my terms.

“A lot happened today that I need to process. So before we talk about what comes next for us, I think I need to decide how I feel first. I need to figure out what I want, on my own.”

As I speak, I can’t stop Rosa’s words from ringing in my mind. Have I really put myself on the sidelines when I belong in the center of the ring?

“That sounds fair enough to me,” Logan answers.

“That’s not the unfair part. I was hoping that until we decide what to do…”

The words feel mixed up, like I’m plucking them one by one from a cyclone.

“If we could just be us, until then?” I finally finish. “The way we were? Even if it’s just pretend. Just for a little while, before things change again?”

Emotion strains Logan’s face, and a sudden snap of disbelief seizes me. Things used to be so easy between us, for so long. How did we end up here? Is it even possible for us to do what I’ve asked, or was I just being stupid and selfish? Then again, I remind myself Logan said he wanted this for us once, back on the Isle of Baxter before everything changed.

“I have a lot to say, Chase. That’s why I came back,” Logan begins. “But if that’s what you need, yes, I can do that for a little while.”

Logan looks like he wants to hug me, and I desperately want him to, but we don’t know what’s allowed in this strange new place we’ve entered. So I try to pull myself off the bench. I step forward and hug Logan.

It feels so good, my chest actually tightens. I press my eyes shut as tears well against the lids, because I’d rather not cry here next to the baked asphalt and gasoline pumps.