“We all agreed Perilli would probably go with the number set two three four five. It’s by far the most sequential, plus it also tells a chronological story. That was just a hunch, but then we tried doing a little tarot reading divination with just the Pentacle cards in the deck. That’s when my sisters realized that these four specific Pentacle cards—two three four five—all have special marks the other four don’t.”

Supriya leans forward to show us her phone, which has pictures of these cards. Instantly, I spot the tiny green star painted on each one, which I never noticed before.

“Sherwin thinks the sequence for these numbers is two three four five,” Rowe picks up, “but I think that’s too straightforward. It doesn’t account for how these four cards and their symbols ‘tell the King’s story’ in the right order.”

“So that leaves us with twenty-four possible combinations of two three four five,” Supriya summarizes. “We were going to try to figure out how to narrow it down next.”

Staring at the chalkboard, my brain begins thrumming again.

“Okay, I actually might have an idea where to look next,” I begin.

“I agree that magic and spells are really just possible future science. Just like the tarot, it all has meaning because it’s grounded in reality. That’s why we need to focus on telling the King’s story through tarot history.”

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“I think it’s totally possible that magic and spells are real. Like spiritual truth, just because we can’t prove it exists, that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. So we should focus on the tarot symbols and how they capture higher truths.”

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Things like numbers and symbols have only the meaning that history assigns them, just like the fidget spinner in my pocket. To anyone else it would just be an inanimate object, but to me it’s a powerful totem carrying so much personal resonance. If we’re going to figure out this equation, we need to focus on the thing that seemed to carry the most weight when Perilli created his decks: tarot history. After all, the symbols of the tarot are expressed in almost every historical religion, not to mention astrology, yoga, the chakras, mythology—the list goes on.

“First, should we agree on a definition of the King of Pentacles?” I continue. “From what I know, the King stands for achieving success using common sense, but also the principle that one should never become obsolete and complacent. He also represents reaping what is sewn from steady, hard work.”

Starting on this tarot flow feels so good, returning to something I have mastery over. Since Logan left, everything I knew about myself has felt unsteady. Getting back to basics like this reminds me who I am, or at least an important part of who I am.