It was bad. Sooner or later I would have to explain it to Curran, too. We didn’t keep secrets from each other. We talked. Given a chance, I would explain what Adora was and convince him she wasn’t a slave. Curran loved me more than anyone I’d ever known. He would hear me out. That wasn’t what stopped me. If I let him see Adora, he would ask me why I didn’t kill her. I couldn’t lie to him. I would have to tell him everything, about my father, about wanting to take his land, about watching Adora bleed and puzzling over sealing her into service as if she were an object to be owned.

I didn’t want him to know how far into the dark I went. It scared me when I thought about it.

I did it. I owned it. Like it or not, I would have to deal with it after I came back from Mishmar. If I came back.

“I’ll need to stop by a smithy,” I murmured, and realized I’d said it out loud. “Sorry, was talking to myself.”

“They have medicine for that.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

“You’re welcome. Why do you need to stop by a smithy?”

“To buy powdered iron.”

•   •   •

I SAT ON the back porch outside, waiting for Teddy Jo. The sky was black and deep. A spray of glittering stars shone from above. The night breathed.

I’d stopped by the Guild and talked to Curran. He’d put a team together for Saiman’s rescue. The Pack shared what they had learned scouting and Curran did manage to find a merc with the ability to communicate long distance. They called her a mouse witch and I found her sitting in Barabas’s office, with two bats hanging off her clothes, a squirrel on her shoulder, and a tiny owl in her hands. Tonight the owl and the bats would fly to the castle and attempt to find Saiman. If they did, she would be able to talk to him though them.

I told Curran about my meeting with Chernobog. He told me about Christopher. The moment the magic wave ended, his wings disappeared and he stopped struggling. They pulled him out of the ground. He picked up Maggie and went back to his house. Barabas tried to talk to him, but Christopher curled up in his hammock, hugged his dog, and refused to communicate. Barabas stayed home to watch over him.

I’d hugged Curran and kissed him good-bye. He kept asking me nonsense questions. He didn’t want me to go. I didn’t want to go either, but eventually I had to leave to gather my things.

I stopped by the smithy and bought a pound of powdered iron. Legends existed for a reason.

At home I called Jim and asked him to have the remains ready tonight, in three hours or so. He said he would.