He said I had to clear my heart of doubt. If that means I have to try violent protest, then so be it. He said the Buddha is forgiving and merciful. That his philosophy is one of inner peace, honesty with the self, and an external life that works for the greatest good.

I’m kind of shaky just thinking about it. What if I chicken out again? Don is super happy that I’m willing to consider it. I think his opinion of Kanata-san went way up. He’s even thinking about coming to a meeting with me.

A Neo-Buddhist wedding ceremony—I shouldn’t even acknowledge the desire, but I can’t help it! It would be so wonderful!

JOURNAL ENTRY: JOSEPHINE LEE, APRIL 27, 2065

I DID IT! I SHOT A GUN AT A GUARD!!

I feel… all mixed up. Dirty. Empowered. Proud, ashamed.

What finally triggered it (ha ha?) was the asshole lieutenant governor standing there and making her big speech about respect for property and the self-correcting mechanisms of the market. She had the nerve to say that nobody is forcing laborers to change their bodies or take drugs. What utter bullshit!

They’re being fired for not performing as well as a bot in the same job. How is that anything but forcing them?

I got mad. Really mad.

I pulled up my last images of Uncle Phil, with the horrible lesions all over his body from where the mech appendages went in. I projected it in my local range and someone started screaming. People started shooting. There was a guard nearby with eyes that were so hard and unfeeling and then someone shoved a gun at me and that was that.

I was shaking so hard afterward Don had to hold me up. I couldn’t take it. The guard was bleeding. He’ll live, of course, but seeing it made me sick.

I… it’s probably not smart for me to keep writing this stuff down.

JOURNAL ENTRY: JOSEPHINE LEE, SEPTEMBER 25, 2069

Well, hello, journal. It’s been an interesting four years, but I’m going to ignore all that and go right into the here and now. Life is so good! I need to write this down so I can look back and remember that.

Kanata-san has graciously agreed to perform our wedding ceremony. He’s flying out from Princeton for it. We’re paying, of course. Part of me wishes we were having the wedding here in Singapore, but then everyone back in Denver would have to spend money to come. I tried talking Mom into a virtual ceremony. That was a fun conversation!

Anyway, it’s been easy enough to arrange everything from here. And the weather this time of year in Colorado is nicer. Listen to me convincing myself.