“Gemma.” Alex squeezed her hand. “Don’t talk like that. We’ll find a way to keep you safe.”

“But what if we can’t?” Gemma turned to face him, pulling one knee up to her chest. “Or … what if we shouldn’t?”

“What do you mean?” Alex asked. His dark eyes were full of concern and confusion, and Gemma didn’t know how to answer him.

Seeing the trees where Alex and Harper had found Luke and the other boys reminded her of how horrible Alex had looked afterward. And Gemma didn’t need any reminders about how she’d killed Jason. She was waking up from nightmares about it every night.

She’d been trying so hard to pretend that everything was fine, to forget the horrible things she’d done, the creature she’d become, and just enjoy the moment she was in. With the full moon approaching in a matter of weeks, there was a very real chance that Gemma might not live to see it.

Sitting here with Alex, Gemma found it hard to swallow back her current thoughts. They needed to find a way to kill the sirens, definitely, but only if the sirens came for her. And maybe they never would. Maybe they would just replace her instead, letting her die alone and away from them.

Either the sirens would come for her and they would probably all die in the fight, or she would die before they did. With options like that, Gemma had begun to accept her own death, which was feeling more and more inevitable. She was attempting to make peace with it, and wanted to relish what time she had left with the people she loved.

“Gemma?” Alex put his hand on her knee and leaned toward her. “What’s wrong? What are you thinking?”

There was no way she could look into his eyes. She couldn’t tell him what was really bothering her—that she was a murderer, and the best-case scenario was that she would be dead soon.

Gemma lowered her eyes. “There’s something I should tell you.”

“You can tell me anything,” Alex said.

“I know, and I…” She swallowed hard, and she accidentally looked up at him. That’s what did it. As soon as she looked in his eyes, she lost all her nerve, and she blurted out, “I kissed someone else.”

“What?” Alex’s face twisted in confusion, and his eyes flashed darkly, so Gemma hurried to explain. She didn’t know why she thought confessing that she’d kissed Sawyer would be the way to go. Clearly she’d panicked.