‘First I sank to the floor and curled into a ball. The space was tiny. I flinched when the gun went off, and whenever I moved I could hear my feet hitting this bucket. I was terrified that he’d open the door and see me there. The gunshots kind of got louder every time. They sounded like a hammer on the ground right next to me and that pounding sounded bigger and closer. After a while I changed position. The coolroom door opened inwards and I turned towards the door and pressed both feet against it and with my hands braced myself against the back wall of the room. I was pushing so hard against the door my legs were shaking by the end. And it was fucking cold. I was wearing a thin dress and sandals.’

‘Henry walked right past the coolroom.’

‘Yes, when he shot the man in the toilet. It didn’t occur to me that Henry would ever stop and go away. I had this idea that he was lurking in the kitchen, waiting for me to come out. And then he’d get me.’

‘What else were you thinking about?’

‘Just sort of fear. And I thought of Mum and Dad. I thought I would die and leave my son without parents too. I had this sense of my three-year-old boy’s loss. This flash of his perspective. That was a feeling of horror, too, like that sound of the gun.’

It occurred to Emily: did Ian Asquith, when he thought about ending his life, have similar flares of a child’s grief, or was he only thinking about his own pain?

She asked: ‘A policewoman called Sharon Hand found you. I contacted her but she declined to be interviewed. Could you describe what happened?’

‘Long after the gunshots stopped I heard these voices, men and women sort of barking at each other like they were angry, but then I heard the police radio walkie-talkie thing, which is when I knew it was over. The cop opened the coolroom and saw me there, and she helped me up and we walked through the cafe. The other police were saying, “Don’t look down, close your eyes,” and that’s what I did, since there were bodies blown apart on the floor. I kept my eyes shut until we got outside. Then we went down the street into a park, where police vans were set up.’

‘At that point, did you feel relief?’

‘No, I was afraid that someone was going to start shooting at us. We were out in the open and I was sure he was there and would shoot at me in the street. I had this strong feeling like he was waiting for me, hiding somewhere with a gun. I told the police we needed to go somewhere safe right now because I was sure he was going to come back. I was afraid I was going to be killed.’