All those years with Mum speaking only in French at home and she never knew one day I would use it to go and make some kind of vengeance – of even the smallest kind – for what was done to her son. Morag and I have slept in this bed nearly every weekend for a year. Flirted in the same bars. I have had her back. I held her when any man left her. I’ve been here whenever she needed me and even when she wanted to share me with Levi, I was happy to be shared – to his delight. He sent her a letter. I know they miss each other. I will hold her later. Naked, held close – it is the best way to sleep. Then later, I’ll be able to reach for her in the night. My favourite kind of touch is when we are both half asleep and we kiss each other blindly, fall into an abyss where it is only want and touch and sweat and both of us warm from sleep. All those hours together during blackout where we didn’t go down to the air-raid shelter. Just closed the shutters, curtains too, not even a line of light coming from any window. Our whole apartment felt totally closed off from the entire world – what a way to love!

– Life is now, Ivy.

She stands at the bedroom door, nails painted, dress on.

– You look stunning.

– Are you going to miss me?

– Every single second.

There is a lump in my throat then. I have to turn away because we won’t ever do this again. She is so dear to me. You truly never really know how much you care for someone until you are about to walk away.

– Can I write to you where you are going, Ivy?

– Aye.

– Will you leave an address?

– I’ll send one.

– I love you.

– Stop it!

Morag laughs. My inability to deal with emotion! A man is not a mouse but the principle of murder is the same. I can do this. The recruiter said he would be at the Palais and they have shown me a photograph. He will be talking in English and covering his accent to pass as a soldier from down south. I had no idea I’d have to do this tonight until just this afternoon. I am exhilarated and frightened that my urges will not see me through. That they are just the terrors of a child scared of its shadow. Maybe I will be unable to kill him in public without being seen at all and I will have failed my attempt at becoming an assassin. I mean, the recruiters don’t call it that, they just say it’s a mission.

Morag goes to finish getting ready.

I love the sound of her wandering around our flat.

I have memorised the codes I need.