I have taken to standing in the hallway in the morning with my horns on show so he sees me when he comes out of his room. He hates it. The maid has been told to only come into the apartment and clean when I am banished to our parlour. I have been naive. Elise has kept the worst of it from me. I see more what Mr Udnam is capable of and that he keeps her (and everyone else) in check with the fear of murder. He has men work for him all over this city who would do anything requested at his bidding. We all know it. He has all the keys to all the buildings and every one of them is bloodstained. While he parades through restaurants and newspaper interviews and city council meetings and fancy balls – his adulation is underlined with the scent of fear. I spit out a strand of tobacco. Put our little tin back on the bedside cabinet. Light up and inhale so deeply my throat burns and there is almost no smoke to come back out. Hope is asleep. She is so beautiful. A cherub with fat fists and a smile to heal the weary. Lay my cigarette into the ashtray and attend to my hair. Smoke curls up into the room. I can hear the maid sweeping the hallway out there. She will be gone soon. Usually Hope is out there with Elise in the mornings, or she is visiting in the consulting room with Mr Udnam for a short while, or they are off across town for a morning walk. Today they are both at home with me. He has done it to appease us. Last night, he dragged Elise down our hallway. Locked himself and Elise into the consulting room. There was not a sound and that put fear in me more than anything. I paced. I held Hope until she slept. I considered trying to kick the door in. The clocks in our hallway have never ticked so hard or so loud. When she came out this morning she couldn’t look at me. I made sure not to cry. I filled the washbasin and added her favourite lavender oil. I washed her body as gently as I do with Hope. I combed Elise’s hair and kept my breathing steady when I felt her wince. He must have pulled her hair nearly out of her head. There is a clump missing at the back. I combed her hair over it. I put ointment on the areas that would bruise later on. I held her until she fell asleep. I lay awake. I listened to her breathing. I tucked her in and kissed her forehead then I got up and stood at the window. I hated myself for not going through immediately to kill him. I stared out at a dark city. Felt the creatures that walk underground getting restless. They could hear me if I called to them. I know it. I would not give my father the satisfaction though, I can’t, I am better than him. It’s what Hope needs me to be. Whilst I am tempted lately to give in to the evil I could call to me in his name, I won’t give in. I am scared of what will happen to us because we still keep trying to play fair. Good people are always at a disadvantage. What can we do to Mr Udnam when he is willing to torture anyone who gets in his way and then lie about it and parade himself around this city like a hero among men and so many important people would absolutely protect him by their presence and approval and money and time – all so they can bask in the reflected power he wields.