His niece’s morning set-up at Blossom’s My Little Pony stables is highly elaborate. He knows the score now. First off, Cupcake and Rosedust will bitch about Princess Sparkle. They’ll talk about how disappointing she is. That she can’t just be cheerful like them. They will cut her pony tail off. Write all over her stable in coloured pencil. They will steal her favourite things. Then they will trot off, very smug and happy with themselves. They’ll go look after Baby Half Note and Baby Tic Tac Toe to tell them how awful Princess Sparkle is. Applejack will stay well out of it. She is the plastic-pony version of Switzerland. Very occasionally she will take sides, but only if it furthers her own social status.

There is nothing to admire in that!

A man with shopping bags standing in front of four tanks – that’s something to admire. Even more so because he climbed onto one of the tanks when its gun was aimed at him! Stood there so he could talk human to human. Never mind the machine. Or the orders. Sometimes, you have to just look at another person and see they are as human as you are. Unless they are not. Ivor admires the man’s dignity and courage and humanity. He has watched the footage four times now. He is trying to learn something. Anyone else would laugh to know that sunlight is a tank to him, but it is no less scary. Ivor admires his workmates for every action they’ve taken through the strikes. And for the very first time in his entire life – he feels a tiny touch of pride in himself. Not for the thoughts – those, he will never be proud of – but for how he keeps all of it to himself and still tries to do only good.

– Do you sleep with those sunglasses on?

– Fuck off, Jake.

– Uhm just asking!

His pal stretches out beside him, rubs his eyes, reaches for a cigarette.

– I hold ma hand up, you can hate me fir life. I will always be sorry I did it! After I did it…

– It?

– Come on, Ivor.

– After you what, Jake?

– Joanne started trying to tell me she only ever got violent in the first place cos ay you. Don’t you dare think she’s right, Ivor. If it was a man hitting a woman, would it be alright?

– Noh, but everyone would still look the other fucking way.

– I wouldnae.

– Aye, ye fucking would, Jake. And if ye ever saw me, which ye’d try and avoid doing, you’d hope I never brought it up!

Jake kneels over Ivor and takes his head in his hands – one hand on each cheek, gentle as a vet with a newborn lamb.

– It’s not your fault, Ivor, not any of it.

– Fuck off!

Ivor hooks him.