“You asked for it, old man. Now here it is,” he shouted, raising his gun and pointing it at Rainwater’s back.

I stepped close, stuck the muzzle of my pistol under the man’s ear, and clicked off the safety. He froze like he had been splashed with liquid nitrogen.

“Hold real still for a second,” I whispered. “This thing’s got a hair trigger, and I don’t like it to go off until I mean it to. Now, you lower that gun hand to your side and let your grip go slack.”

He did as instructed. A girl from behind us shouted, “Dewayne, what’s goin’ on out there?”

“Just act like she’s your girlfriend and ignore her, Dewayne. That’ll be the healthiest thing you can do,” I said as I reached down and took the pistol from his unresisting hand.

“’Cause I gotta tell you something, bubba, it would give me a great deal of pleasure to scatter the top of your skull all across this parking lot,” I hissed.

Rainwater cranked his truck and looked down upon us. Our eyes met, and he gave me a nod. The air brakes shooshed as they were released, and then, putting the truck in gear, Truman Rainwater and his prodigal granddaughter pulled away.

“Wave to them, Dewayne. Let them know you’re happy to see them go,” I cajoled.

“Man, this is some ...” he started to protest. But I cut it off with a knee slammed into his tailbone and a rap on the head with the pistol.

“Wave, boy,” I said.

Dewayne lifted a hand and waved, but I must say, it was lacking in what I considered to be sincere enthusiasm.

When Rainwater was out of sight I turned us back in the direction of the van.

“Let’s march, Dewayne. You and me aren’t finished yet.” I lowered the pistol so that the muzzle was on his spine, just above the belt line.

“Walk easy, Dewayne,” I said in a pleasant voice. “Gun went off now, you’d be paralyzed for life. And somehow or other, I just don’t believe you know anybody that would change your colostomy bag for you.”

“My what?” he asked.

“The bag you’d have to shit in for the rest of your life,” I replied.

“Oh.”

We arrived at the van. The two girls were watching us with wide eyes.

“Dewayne is finished for the evening, ladies. He and I have declared a holiday. Would either or both of you like to take off? You’re free to go if you like, and Dewayne’s not going to do a thing about it. Are you, Dewayne?” I said, giving him a jab in the spine.

One girl put a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle. The other looked on with wide eyes.

“Mister, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” Dewayne said through anger-clenched teeth.

The giggling girl spoke up.