Meanwhile Laurent was still doing exactly as he pleased. Except for one time in July, one year after the ruling, when Paul insisted. The two of us went to spend two days with my dad in Touraine. It'd been two years since we'd been able to do that, just be normal together, without doing anything in particular. Going shopping at the Super U, bike rides, hanging around at home, going fishing in the Loire, cooking, choosing a comic, telling him to go and take a bath, brush his teeth, Mom have you done spider patrol? I do spider patrol, I give him a hug, I come back to check on him once he's asleep, I slip the comic out of his hands, I put it on the bedside table, I pull the cover over him, I turn out the light, I go to bed, I read my book as if nothing had happened, as if everything were normal, I try not to smile too much.

In the train he says, We'll figure it out, Mom. We'll figure it out, darling. At Gare d’Austerlitz, Laurent's waiting on the platform, I say hi, I don't touch him, I say goodbye to Paul, I take the 5, I show up at G.'s. I smoke a cigarette on her balcony, I look at the high-rise, I think about how I'd like to live in a high-rise, in a district without any history.

A black plastic dildo, paraben free, made in USA, these are the best ones, she says, good quality leather for the strap, she gets down on her knees, I suck her rubber dick, I look up at her, she's beautiful, she's not smiling, she makes me turn over, she lies me flat on my stomach, she lifts me up a little, makes sure I'm at the right height, she slips a pillow underneath me, the click of the lid, the cold of the gel, I arch my back, she moves slowly, she's good at this, I can feel the surge, I come, I fall down flat on the pillow, it's nice to really get fucked, I needed love tonight.

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