“But it’s not for a week,” Keira replied. “Won’t things have calmed down by then? Calum will be back on his feet. And you won’t be away for that long anyway. Only a week. It’s not like you’re staying for a month or anything crazy like that. They’ll be fine without you for a few days. I mean, they cope without you once a year when you’re doing your tour guide thing in Lisdoonvarna.”

She could tell she was rambling now, and coming across as more than a little desperate. But she’d been so looking forward to seeing Shane again, to bringing him into her world like he’d had the chance to do for her in his. Waiting was so difficult, the absence so painful to endure. Not to mention all the money she’d put toward his flights, everything she’d splurged on—all those prebooked activities that didn’t have cancellation policies. She could have used her bonus from Elliot toward her accommodations instead of staying on Bryn’s couch ruining her back. Could she even afford to reschedule the trip? It wasn’t like Shane had much money that he could contribute.

“My dad almost died, Keira,” Shane told her bluntly. “It’s not the same thing as me spending a month away from home once a year.”

“I know,” she said, meekly. “I don’t mean to be selfish. It’s just that I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too,” Shane replied, sighing deeply.

Keira’s throat felt thick with unhappiness. But she didn’t want to dwell, especially when it hadn’t been her relative in the ER. She made the decision to brighten up.

“I suppose there’s nothing to be done,” she said, sounding calmer than she really felt. “Let’s just sort out a date now so we don’t leave the trip in limbo. I don’t know how well I’ll cope not being able to count down the days.” She chuckled, trying to give the impression that she was way more okay than she really felt.

Once again, there was no reply from Shane. In the space where his voice should be, Keira could instead only hear the sound of a receptionist giving someone directions to the kidney dialysis ward.

“Shane?” she asked, timidly, when she’d had just about enough of the silence as she could stand.

Finally he spoke.

“I don’t think I can book another date,” Shane told her.

“Because of your dad? Shane, he’ll be better before you know it. Back on his feet, back to running the farm. I promise you, by November everything will be back to normal. Or if you prefer we could aim for December. That gives him ages to get back to work.”

“Keira,” Shane interrupted.

She snapped her lips shut, stopping the stream of consciousness that she knew she was engaging in as an avoidance tactic, to delay what she feared was coming next, a way of pausing the terrible inevitability of what Shane was about to say.

“I can’t come,” he stated. “Ever.”

Keira felt her hands begin to shake. Her phone felt suddenly clammy in her hand, like she didn’t have a proper grip on it.