The old lady with the ponytail was wiping her eyes, going: “I should threaten Bill to replace his head with that of Harrison Ford if he doesn’t behave.”

“Or someone really cool like Barack Obama,” Emma said, and Pat went: “Hmm, or George Clooney. I’ve always had a thing for George Clooney.” And then Alex went: “Or Batman,” and they all lost it again.

Kate then introduced me to Ponytail Lady, whose name is Melanie. Apparently she and her husband volunteer at the shop when they’re not traveling the world, but he wasn’t there today because he had an eye appointment.

Instead of shaking my hand like any other old person would have done, Melanie kissed me on both cheeks and then hugged me. She was like: “I’m so pleased we’re finally meeting. I feel like I know you already from hearing so much about you from Kate.” I was just like: “Oh.” Because TBH, I don’t think anybody actually really knows me.

Emma was like: “You’ve got half term as well, then?”

Me: Yes.

Emma: Are you doing anything exciting?

Me: I’m trying to get a job.

Emma: Why don’t you just work here?

Me: No, I mean an actual job.

OMG, why do I say these things? I didn’t even mean it in a derogatory way or anything. All I meant was: I need to actually earn money. I can’t work for free.

Tuesday, February 20 #BirthdayDate

Kate asked if me and Emma would mind taking Alex out for his birthday on Thursday as it’s half term.

Apparently Kate usually takes him to Sprinkles, because ice cream is his favorite thing ever, but she was thinking that maybe he could socialize with people his own age for a change, which is obviously bullshit, because he’s actually turning twenty-one. Apparently Emma was all for it, and I said okay as well.

I’ve never been out with anyone with Down syndrome.

Wednesday, February 21 #JobSearchTake341

I’ve heard nothing from the hairdressing places. How depressing is all that?

When Kate got home, I was reading up on Down syndrome in preparation for tomorrow’s activities, and she was like: “Phoebe. It’s Alex. It’s ice cream.” But I’m so glad I read up on it, because I knew nothing.

According to www.downwithfriends.org.uk: Down syndrome is not a disease, and therefore people don’t “suffer” from Down syndrome. A person who has Down syndrome may be referred to as “Linda is twenty-four, and she has Down syndrome.” People with Down syndrome are all individuals, and Down syndrome is only one part of the person.

One in one thousand people can have Down syndrome, and the really interesting thing is that at the moment of conception, the very instant of sperm meeting egg, an extra chromosome joins the mix, and no one knows where it comes from.

Thursday, February 22 #HBDAlex

Emma is everything neither Miriam Patel, nor I, nor anyone will ever be: entirely effortless perfection.