Then Kate wrapped an arm around Emma and pulled her into a sideways hug and kissed the top of her head, going: “I’m so happy at least one of us is sane.”

8:05 P.M.

I want to know what happened after Romeo and Juliet died. I want to know what happened to the Nurse, and to the parents, and to all the shit-stirrers who caused Romeo and Juliet to go crazy.

But nobody ever talks about the time after the great tragedy.

9:10 P.M.

I wish I’d just asked Emma about the meetings earlier. I literally thought it was this huge, secret thing, when it’s just her going to talk to people who’ve been through the same trauma.

Sunday, June 24 #Lido

This morning we took the bus to Tooting. Polly and Tristan were already on it, I got on at Wimbledon, and Emma got on at South Wimbledon.

I had to buy a swimsuit at Primark beforehand, because the only one I own is from Year Five and has Minnie Mouse on it.

Note to self: Always own a decent swimsuit, and definitely don’t start buying one two minutes before you have to get on the bus.

I ended up with this vile, ill-fitting, bright blue thing.

Why am I incapable?

More reasons a mission to Mars would be brilliant:

• space suit and
• NASA-regulation underwear.

Emma looked fantastic in her bright red halter neck bikini, but to be fair, she looks fantastic in anything.

Emma and Tristan got on like a house on fire, of course.

What is it that makes him so irresistible?

Is it his helplessness?

The fact that he looks twelve?

Honestly, not ten minutes into the bus journey, and Emma and him were laughing and joking like they’d known each other all their lives. And later they went to get us water, then ice cream, and once they even went for a wee together.

Polly was like: “This is nice. Like a double date.” And as soon as she’d said it, she looked like she was kind of listening back to it in her head, and then she regarded me through half-closed eyes, and she went: “Phoebe?” But I was just like: “Fuck off.”

We went swimming a few times, but I didn’t really like it, partly because the water in that lido is absolutely freezing, but mainly because I’m not a very good swimmer. Everyone was doing proper lengths whilst I was struggling to stay afloat.

But because it was hot, and we had a nice time, we stayed until we all were 100 percent late getting home.

Emma was the first one off the bus, and she kept skipping and waving at us even though she was no longer looking, and Polly thought it was so funny she literally cried.

I got off next, and when I got home, Kate was like: “Any news?” and I was like: “Like what news?” and Kate was like: “I don’t know. News news. You know.”