Turned out Polly and Tristan didn’t really want to watch the film, but spend one hundred and twenty minutes snogging instead.

All I could hear in my left ear were wet, juicy, tongue-y kissing noises, and at one point, I swear she actually put her hand on his crotch, which, like, no!

I’m never going to forgive Polly for this.

Before Tristan she never would have been that person. She never would have invited someone only to then exclude them. She was the best person I knew. And now she’s just like everyone else: self-absorbed and wanting to have sex, sex, sex.

When I got home, I went straight to my room and shut the door. Kate knocked a bit later to ask if I was okay or if I needed to stroke a cat. I told her I was fine, but I think she knows I’m not.

I’m not even sure what upset me most, Polly reaching for Tristan’s crotch or Miriam Patel being right about three being a crowd.

Sunday, January 21 #MedecinsInternationale

Mum WhatsApped from Ankara.

She looked like shit already, and they’re not even in Syria yet, but they’re going tomorrow.

She said she didn’t know when she’d be able to WhatsApp next. Same old, same old, blah blah blah, yawn.

Monday, January 22 #IHateEveryone

I’m not going to watch the news anymore.

I mean, diseases spreading is one thing, same with earthquakes, hurricanes, typhoons, erupting volcanoes, etc. But wars?

They flew drones around Aleppo, or maybe I should say around where Aleppo used to be when it was still an actual place with houses and shops and schools, because now it’s just a pile of rubble. The place has literally been bombed to shit.

They showed a legless woman being wheeled down what once upon a time could have been a road, in a shitty, broken wheelchair to a makeshift hospital that was basically just a room where people were lying on wooden planks.

Why are we doing this to each other?

And then it’s on telly and we casually watch it over dinner.

PS: I think Polly knows Saturday didn’t go well, because this morning she was like: “Do you want to have lunch together?” But I was like: “Sorry, can’t. I have to go to the library.”

I don’t even know why I made that up, and I contemplated changing my mind for a moment, but then I saw her feeding Tristan carrot sticks, and I congratulated myself on my life choices.

Tuesday, January 23 #Rude

I bought individual plastic folders for my CVs.

Kate was like: “A lot has to be said for presentation, Phoebe, well done. Maybe also smile when you talk to people.”

OMG.

Wednesday, January 24 #JobSearchTake1

January must be the worst month of the year to go job hunting.

No one is looking for staff. I went round the entire Bentall Centre after school, and in every single shop they were like: “Sorry, we just had to let all our Christmas temps go, so we’re not recruiting right now.”