Still, it wasn’t as if that hyung was that old—why was he in such a hurry to marry? Because he was such a congenitally down-to-earth person? From what I knew, he had an older sister who hadn’t married yet . . . It did cross my mind that Jaehee’s biologically male roommate may have had something to do with his decision to marry, but I decided not to think too much along those lines. Or really to think about anything that had to do with me. An excess of self-awareness being a disease in itself . . .

4.

Things moved along quickly after Jaehee announced her marriage.

For the three months before the wedding, I got to witness how shitty it was for a man and a woman in Korean society to unite as one family, which made me cease resenting the fact that I couldn’t even dream of marriage. Not that I was confident it wasn’t jealousy.

Meanwhile, Jaehee had a whole lot of things she needed from me. Her promotion came with a murderous workload, and with her future husband being largely absent from the preparations, I was her stand-in groom. I accompanied her to the bridal shop, to the hanbok shop, to interior design firms, and so on, helping her pick things out. At first, I’d only look over her shoulder as she made the decisions, but soon I was the one touching all of the fabric samples and insisting she use the colors I liked. I didn’t mind it so much since it wasn’t so terrible, but I drew the line when she asked me to emcee the event. No matter how much I insisted I didn’t want to be involved in a straight wedding, she refused to back down.

—How could you not be a part of my wedding?

—How could I be a part of it? No. I refuse. I don’t even own a suit.

—I’ll buy you one. Armani.

—I’m an anti-marriage activist. One who’s beginning to turn militant, having seen what you’re going through.

—Cut the bullshit and just do it for me. You love attention!

That was a misunderstanding on her part—I was a very different man when I was drunk. But no matter how many times I declined, she kept insisting, and eventually I had to yield. Fine, I said, I’ll emcee the thing, but you have to come up with the script yourself. She agreed.

Not even a week had gone by when she came home one day with two boxes of Kyochon fried chicken. Obviously, she was feeling guilty about something. Jaehee offered up the chicken and mumbled:

—So apparently, it’s traditional for the groom’s best friend to emcee? Oppa has a friend who’s a television reporter, and he’s going to do it. I’m so sorry.