—Young-ah, do you think I’ll be able to keep myself from cheating on him?

—Well.

—I don’t really worry about oppa, but I worry about myself. That I might ruin a perfectly fine man.

—You know, Jaehee . . . I worry about that, too.

We laughed and finished packing up. There was less stuff than we expected, and we ended up using only five boxes. She told me she had already sent on her winter clothes and furniture to the apartment. There were five months left on the lease for our studio apartment, and Jaehee was letting me live out the rest of it alone. The jeonse deposit was a big chunk of money, but seeing as how she wasn’t in a rush to claim it, Jaehee’s family must’ve been well-off, perhaps even more so than her fiancé’s. I began to wonder if Jaehee really was the ordinary middle-class girl I had thought she was, someone just like everyone else. Maybe that’s why she could toss societal norms like used Kleenex . . .

After we were done, we spread out the bedding and lay down with facial masks on our faces, feeling like we were nineteen again. It was still surreal to me to think that the vagabond that Jaehee used to be was now all grown up and getting married.

—So do you think you can really take care of your in-laws and have babies and change their diapers and everything?

—I wrote up a whole contract with oppa. That we’re never going to have babies. As for the in-laws, well, I’m going to think of it as having two more birthdays to take care of. We’re going to keep on living like we’re dating.

—Then why not just keep on dating? Why get married?

—He suggested it, so I thought I might as well try it. And if it doesn’t work out, I can always leave.

—Yeah. If it gets to be too much, ditch him and come back here.

—Do you think I wouldn’t?

—You’ve come all this way because you know you wouldn’t.

That’s what I said, but there was no reply. Instead, a boisterous snoring. Jaehee’s careless catchphrase, “Or not,” was reverberating in my head; it used to drive me up the wall, but now it felt reassuring.

Jaehee was the one getting married, but I was the one who couldn’t fall asleep. And so, our last night together wore on.

5.

The emcee called my name, announcing me as the singer for the congratulatory song.

My whole university cohort turned their heads toward me. Some burst out in incredulous laughter. I got up from the immaculately set table and slowly moved toward the stage. My shoulders were stiff from nerves. Jaehee and her groom were smiling widely at me. Hundreds of wedding guests were staring. Intimidated by their glares, I gripped the microphone tight. The lyrics on the music stand in front of me were swimming before my eyes. Why did grabbing a microphone always have this effect on me? As a writer I had had to do some events speaking into a microphone, and I always ended up saying too much or suddenly bursting into tears at a random moment, startling the audience. My inner drama queen had surprised me on more than a few occasions.