I watched as the room became lighter, the walls of the cabin painted a soft blue by the early morning light that crept in through the thick beige curtains. I stretched under the covers, my feet brushing against a sleeping Jake. He stirred but didn’t open his eyes, allowing me a moment to look at him, finding some peace in the way he slept. How his blond hair looked messy but perfect, his lips slightly pouty and parted, his lashes long and his breathing soft.

If anything happened to him, I’d be destroyed. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

My stomach twisted into a series of knots. Anxiety seeped back into my bones, making me twitchy. I had to get up, had to move.

I slowly pushed a leg out from under the comforter and stepped on the floor, trying my best to be as silent as possible. I managed to get both feet on the floor before Jake stirred again. I didn’t want to wake him, not this early in the morning. His eyes remained shut. I stood and tiptoed my way out of the bedroom, opening the door as slow as I could so that the hinges didn’t creak. I did the same as I closed it, walking down the hall and toward the kitchen, where I could hear some low chatter.

It was Tristan and Eric, both of them holding water bottles and looking like they were about to go for a run. “Morning, Noah,” they said, echoing off each other.

“How ya feeling? Eric told me everything.”

I sighed. Exhaustion from this all-nighter would likely hit me in a couple of hours, but for now, I was still running on some leftover fumes. “Not great. I barely got any sleep.”

“Come on, let’s go for a walk and get some fresh mountain air,” Tristan said, hand on my shoulder. He offered me a sympathetic smile, which I tried to return but failed midway.

“Let me grab my sneakers.”

Tristan, Eric, and I headed out of the cabin and started down the curving gravel road that led to the more populated parts of the mountain. Rocks and twigs crunched under our feet, mixing with the chorus of birds belting their morning songs. It was getting chilly; the shorts and T-shirt I had on would soon be needing a jacket and sweatpants to keep me warm. Tristan had already beat us to the punch, wearing black sweats and a long-sleeved shirt.

He always ran colder than most people.

“What a fuckin’ mess, you guys.” I looked to either side of me, flanked by my closest friends, and I started to laugh. It was likely fed by delirium, but at least it made me feel a little better. The laughter spread, both guys joining me, Tristan shaking his head and slapping me between the shoulders.