‘Oh, you know what I mean,’ said Tiger, through a mouthful of peanuts.

‘I thought you’d get enough excitement flying helicopters,’ Christopher said.

‘But that’s just what I do. I mean…I want…something more out of life.’

Gary folded his arms. ‘All right then. We form a secret society. To do what exactly?’

Tiger frowned. ‘I haven’t quite worked that out yet.’

‘I see,’ said Christopher. ‘We meet in secret and do secret things that we haven’t quite worked out yet.’

‘At least the Masons know what they’re doing,’ added Gary. ‘Are you going or what?’

‘Look,’ said Tiger impatiently, ‘is it just me or is this a funny time of life?’

Christopher took a deep breath. ‘I can tell you that medically it’s not funny at all. It’s very critical. When a man hits his fifties all kinds of things start to happen. His sperm count goes down…’

‘Oh, shit!’ muttered Gary.

‘His libido slackens…’

‘Double shit!’

‘And all kinds of things start to malfunction or drop off.’

‘Not much to look forward to then?’ said Tiger.

‘Depends how you look at it,’ replied Christopher. ‘Nature can be quite kind really. You see all those chemical processes that happen in the body have side effects. They release other chemicals to the brain that cause us not to mind. We no longer feel a need to bonk ourselves senseless every night…’

‘Speak for yourself,’ said Gary.

‘Most of us, at any rate.’

Tiger asked, ‘But surely we’re in our prime now. All those years of experience; there must be some advantage to that?’ There was a genuine note of concern in his voice. ‘Other bits of us might be falling off but our minds are sharp as a razor, aren’t they?’ He tipped the rest of the peanuts into his hand and popped them into his mouth a few at a time.

‘In some ways, yes. Our reactions are slower and our reflexes not quite what they were but our powers of reasoning are, in many cases, more well developed.’

‘There you are then.’

‘There I am what?’ asked Christopher.

‘Three men at the peak of their mental powers and all sidelined by society in favour of younger models.’

‘Hey, watch who you’re calling sidelined,’ said Gary. ‘You two might consider yourselves past it but as far as I’m concerned I haven’t got there yet.’

‘I hate to disabuse you of that conceit,’ said Christopher, ‘but clinically you are every bit as over the hill as we are.’

Gary raised his voice. ‘Is it something in the beer or are you two on a right downer tonight?’

Christopher shrugged. ‘Just offering you the benefit of my medical advice, that’s all.’

‘Well, if it’s all the same to you I’d like a second opinion,’ said Gary.

‘And I would never stand in your way,’ beamed Christopher before draining his glass.