We squabble about who’s paying for the ride. I insist, and Justin backs down.

‘I’ll meet you up there,’ I say, showing him the signs to the rooftop bar before I disappear off to my room. For all I know, he’ll be gone when I decide to go up there, and what does it matter? I’ll just talk to someone else. I’m in Bangkok, and if there’s one thing a city like this can do for a solo traveller, it’s ensure they don’t drink alone. And God knows, I need a bloody drink.

I enter my room and see Jack sprawled on the bed. His beard and hair are dripping from the shower and he’s covering himself with the towel I used this morning. I focus, not wanting to lose the picture I’ve created of him.

‘You made a friend quick,’ he says.

‘You’re judging me?’

‘No. I’m jealous.’

‘Ha. That’s ridiculous,’ I say, taking my clothes off and rummaging through my suitcase for my swim stuff. ‘You’ve got nothing to be jealous of, hun. I almost lost the bloody plot out there. Did you see the souvenirs? The ones that’ve shat all over what we thought was unique?’

I tie the halterneck of the tankini and by the time the knot is done, Jack’s gone. The towel is exactly where I left it before going out earlier, thrown carelessly onto the bed. I must’ve forgotten to put the sign on my door for the room to be cleaned.

‘I’ve got to stop this,’ I mumble to myself.

I just had a manic meltdown in the middle of one of the world’s busiest cities. I came out of it unscathed, partly thanks to a kind Canadian fella, partly due to luck. I could still be out there, vulnerable. What if I’d been robbed? Trodden on? Is that a bit too far-fetched? Is that my problem? I came all this way to search for something that doesn’t exist. That’s not normal, is it?

No. It’s not.

But it’s what Jack would’ve wanted. In a teeny, tiny way, I’m glad he’s not here to feel this major slap in the face of disappointment. He’d be sulking now. And I mean seriously sulking. Lip out, heavy breathing, the lot. I manage a smile.

I throw on my cotton rag holiday dress and plonk my sunnies on my head.