The soupy curry is placed before me. It’s spiky with sharp heat. My tongue frazzles. The small golden Buddha beside me on the window ledge smiles; a reminder to keep calm. Take it easy. Slow down.

But I don’t want to slow down. I’m not here to enjoy meals in restaurants: I’m here to keep my relationship alive, to stretch the elastic band a little further. I need to eat and go, get on with the task. I order another beer to keep me motivated and once my belly is full and my body temperature super high, I’m ready.

I connect to the Wi-Fi and search for shopping malls close by. If I’m not mistaken, the mall I’m after wasn’t far from here. My phone pings with a series of messages, all from people wanting to know if I arrived safely. I send a thumbs-up emoji to each: Beth, my mum, Kit, and – how sweet – Si. I’d sent a message to Trish a few days ago informing her I’d be away for a week, just in case she stops by the flat and wonders where I am. I get her reply now:

OK.

Google Maps has found a mall with a McDonald’s and a footbridge over a dual carriageway. It’s a twenty-two-minute walk from where I’m sat. That must be the one. I thank the staff and exit the restaurant, and as I walk down the steps to street level, I notice the t-shirts on display in the shop. Amongst many ‘I heart Bangkok’ slogans and printed poo emojis, there are lots of replica football tops and fake designer polo shirts, US army shirts and US gas station uniforms. I tap to open the photos in my phone. I find the all-important image; the one Jack had sent to me on WhatsApp moments after it he took it; the image I used to get the picture printed onto canvas for our home. I zoom in to the man and look closely at his shirt. I’d presumed it was a uniform for a hotel he worked at, and that it would be easy to find. I couldn’t work out the writing on the logo, which is why I never researched for a specific hotel before I arrived. I was waiting to get here, to ask around. But shit. He could be wearing any old replica shirt bought from one of the thousands of shops in Bangkok, just like the one I’m standing outside now.