‘Hahaha, oh God. Yeah!’ I stand, get closer to the island, closer to Trish. ‘And you know what I remember most about that holiday? Not the pad thai or the strolls along the beach at night-time, but Jack’s laugh. That big, bellowing, boss howl that came from right here,’ and I punch my own stomach. Trish is nodding and it steers me on. ‘And I can’t get this image out of me head, this annoying, excruciating image—’

‘Of Jack?’

‘Oh no. Of me. We were in Koh Phangan. I know, I know, it’s famous – or infamous – for those full moon parties, but we weren’t into that. Like you said, Trish, a bit past it. Too old for that sort of thing.’

Trish widens her eyes at me, drying the pan with a tea towel.

‘Anyway,’ I go on, running away with my own words, ‘we stayed at this hotel. It was built on giant rocks, and all the rooms were like mini chalets, dotted around winding paths. Our room had a balcony with a hot tub – a hot tub – and of course, the resort offered Thai massages. So off we went, through the winding paths, towards a beach hut where two ladies were waiting with two empty mats, as if they knew we were coming. Jack and me lay on our front, heads facing towards each other, trying not to make the other one laugh. I mean, it was picture perfect, the swish of the water meeting the sand, the breeze kissing our skin … Then, it started to hurt. The massage. Like, really, really hurt. I tried so hard to keep a straight face, you know, not wince. But it got worse. The lady got stuck into me thighs and legs, pulling them in all sorts of directions. I was fuming. There was Jack, all zen, getting what I always imagined a Thai massage was, but for some reason, I was getting the shit beaten out of me. At one point, the lady yelled, “You tense!” And I yelled back, “You think?!” I mean, she obviously knew what she was doing, but she grabbed me leg again and hoisted it up to me ear, really going for it. I squealed and Jack opened his eyes, catching me in the most upside-down-inside-out unflattering position, rolls of flab from me hips crushed into me belly, me bikini bottoms right up me bum, and as I tried to breathe through the pressure … I farted.’

‘You farted?!’

‘Yeah! And Jack. Oh! He howled. His laughter practically shook the beach hut into pieces! He was like this God of All Laughter, each chuckle causing mass vibrations, and I can hear it now, like an out-of-body experience, watching meself on the mat, and Jack just howling.’

I sit down, my cheeks hot, flushed. I didn’t mean to tell the whole story.