Jack and I had never discussed buying a property together. We hadn’t not discussed it either. We’d fantasised about our future home together: a hot tub, a corner bar and pool table, a family cinema. We may as well have been planning to be a ballerina or an astronaut when we grew up. We had our dreams, but we weren’t getting practical about them, scaling them down to fit reality. Not yet.

I can’t tell Lorraine any of this, though. It might make her think twice, hold back. She’s breaking some sort of data confidentiality, no doubt, with her stories, and I want to know more.

‘We are,’ I lie, ‘but he’s always changing his mind. Silly old Jack. One minute he wants a rooftop apartment looking over London, and the next he wants – erm – horses, like you said. No wonder it’s taken us almost six months to get back in touch with you.’

‘Well, what’s the rush? None of us are going anywhere, are we?’

Ah. Lorraine. How little you know.

‘And he really didn’t like this place, did he?’ I prompt.

‘No, not at all. But he knew you’d love it,’ and she’s laughing at herself, at the memory, at Jack, at the jokes they’d shared, ‘and he was saying how he was gonna have to buy you a pair of wellies filled with … oh, what was it … some chocolate bar. A Kinder egg … no, Bueno! Filled with Kinder Buenos! Convince you to move to the sticks.’

I turn back to face the window, let my eyes wander miles and miles past rooftops, chimneys, fields. ‘Could you give me a minute, Lorraine? I need to …’ and I swallow, steady myself on the upper window ledge.

‘I’ll be downstairs, there’s a comfy sofa in the hallway. I’ve got a few calls to make.’

She leaves the door ajar and gradually, her footsteps disappear.

It’s wonderful that Jack wanted to buy; that he was in a decent financial position. God knows I’m not there yet, not on my salary. I’ve only been a teacher for a few years. I knew he had some savings, some inheritance. I’d wondered why he hadn’t already bought somewhere, but it wasn’t a question I asked. And I would’ve asked, had the conversation come up. It just hadn’t.