‘A leopard never changes its spots,’ Gareth chuckles.

‘Is me mum still fuming?’

Kit blows out his lips. ‘She never was. It’s all in your head.’

I hadn’t gone to visit during half term, although that had been the plan. Beth was going back to that retreat in the Cotswolds and had suggested – insisted – I went with her this time. The endless yoga did get boring, as much as I’d banked on a spiritual awakening, and the whole four days could have been more of a hoot if we’d been allowed booze, but it had been the right thing to do. Liverpool had had the potential to be a nice break. I could have caught up with mates, played Fun Aunty Chlo armed with gifts for their kids, visited my nan, but I’m not ready. I’m making progress, but I’m still worried I might once again regress to hiding in my old bedroom, emerging only for cheese toasties or to bicker with my mum. Besides, Beth asked. And she only asks when she really needs something.

‘You look really good, Chloe,’ Gareth says, always happy to change the subject when it concerns his mother-in-law. ‘Doesn’t she, babe?’

‘And she’s applied for the job. You know, the full-time teaching position?’

‘Congratulations!’

‘I’ve applied,’ I say. ‘I haven’t got it.’

‘Yet,’ Gareth says. ‘You haven’t got it yet.’

‘This is so great, sis. Do you feel like you’re starting to move on?’ Kit asks.

I wish we were on the phone, the old-fashioned way, so they couldn’t see my face.

‘Shit, what did I say?’ he takes charge, walking away from Gareth.

‘I’m desperate to move on, but something’s stopping me. Something feels … incomplete.’

One plan of Jack’s is outstanding, stuck to the fridge door. The estate agent’s card. Jack wanted us to move out. We just never got round to discussing where or when. I’ve kept the card there as a potential starting point for who to call if I get kicked out.

‘There’s still so much I never found out.’

‘You could say that about any relationship that ends abruptly.’

‘Jack wasn’t any relationship, though, was he?’

‘You say he wasn’t. And sis, I believe you. But maybe you do need to ask yourself – what if he wasn’t the great love of your life? What if … Ah, fuck it. I’m gonna sound like me mum if I keep talking like this.’

He crosses his eyes and sticks out his tongue. We share a small, comfortable laugh.

‘I’m scared, Kit. I’m so scared. Once I move on, that’s it.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Jack. That’s it. He really will be gone.’

Kit’s face softens, his voice a whisper. ‘He already is, sis.’