‘No. Why don’t you go out? You love going on the piss with your pals.’

‘Not when I’m ovulating.’

‘I told you. It’s a work thing.’

‘Does Jack devote his entire life to “work things”, Chlo? Or is just my fella?’

I don’t know how to answer these questions, but I also don’t think Beth is expecting an answer. She might be talking to me, but everything she’s saying is aimed at Fergus. She’s so wound up that she’s forgotten about being freaked out by my unexpected arrival.

‘What’s Jack’s line of work again?’ Fergus asks.

‘For fuck’s sake, Fergus. How can you not remember?’ Beth snarls.

‘I’ve only met the bloke once.’

‘So’ve I.’

‘Well forgive me for forgetting what he does.’

‘He’s a project manager, isn’t he, Chlo?’

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

‘What does that even mean? A project manager?’ Fergus asks. ‘What project does he manage?’

‘Video games,’ Beth huffs. ‘I had a whole conversation with him about it.’

‘And I suppose you’re expecting a medal?’

‘Fuck off, Fergus. Just because I take a genuine interest in people, especially important people, like the fella me best mate’s falling in love with. Do you know how long it’s been since Chloe said the “L” word to anyone? How long’s it been, babes?’

I blow out my lips and shrug.

‘Exactly. It’s been a long, long time. And this fella, this Jack, he might be the one.’

‘Steady on, Beth. She’s only been with him for five minutes—’

‘Months,’ I blurt out, interrupting Fergus. ‘Five months.’

‘Oh my God, has it been that long?’ Beth asks, her mouth hanging open. She does some calculations on her manicured fingers. ‘Wow. Time flies. How come I’ve only met him once? Bloody hell, Chlo. Where’ve you been hiding him?’

This is stupid. Beth knows that I only moved in with Jack a few weeks ago. Before that, I was living in Liverpool and Jack was coming up to visit me at weekends, or I would come to London, or we would meet in the middle somewhere and stay in a hotel. We even managed a holiday in Thailand for two weeks. And anyway, if memory serves me, Beth kept Fergus a secret for a year before she introduced him to anybody. But none of this matters now. This whole conversation is moving at such a pace, it’s like I’m on a train and completely missed the stop where I’m supposed to announce why I’m really here.

‘Before you know it, twelve years’ll go like that,’ Beth clicks. ‘Beware, babes. You might end up like me and soft lad.’

‘Well, I won’t get the chance to find out,’ I say.

Beth’s hand clasps her mouth and it dawns on her why I must look so dreadful.