Surely nothing that felt as good as she did with Paul could possibly last. With tears sliding down her cheeks, she eased herself out of Paul’s embrace and got up to go to the bathroom. Every muscle in her body protested against the movement, and the soreness between her legs was indicative of an overly indulgent night. She hadn’t ached like this since her first time with Carl.

She’d been just a kid then. What did she know about what truly mattered in life? She brushed her teeth and caught sight of the rat’s nest her hair had dried into after going to bed with it wet from the shower and ran a brush through it. Her jaw was covered in red spots from where Paul’s whiskers had rubbed against her skin. She brought her fingers up to touch them, amazed by the passion that had resulted in her skin being rubbed raw.

How could she have lived for so many years without knowing it was possible to do and feel the things she’d experienced last night?

She startled when his arm slid around her waist from behind.

“I woke up, and you were gone.” He kissed the back of her shoulder. “Scared me.”

“I woke up at my usual time after almost eight years of six a.m. wake-ups.”

“That’s brutal.”

“That’s my life.”

“Not today it isn’t. Come back to bed for a little while.”

She let him lead her back to bed and tuck her in.

He leaned over to kiss her. “Be right back.” He went into the bathroom, closing the door and returning with the fresh taste of toothpaste on his lips when he kissed her again. “You going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Why do you look so lost, then? Was last night too much? I kept telling myself to let you sleep, but you kept looking so sweet and sexy.”

“It wasn’t too much.”

He slid his hand up her thigh to cup her intimately, making her gasp. “Are you sore? Here?”

“Yeah.”

“It was too much, then.”

“It was perfect. I loved everything we did. I’m sore because it’s been such a long time since I did anything like that. Forever, if I’m being honest.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never had sex like that, Paul. I didn’t even know it was supposed to be like that.”

His brows narrowed with displeasure. “He didn’t take care of you?”

“Not the way you did.”

“Well, that’s a goddamned crime. They should’ve put him away for that, too.”

His vehemence made her laugh, and then the tears were back, once again pissing her off with the way they appeared out of nowhere to remind her that her heart had once been shattered. It had healed, but she was different now than she’d been then, less trusting, more cynical.