Hey Honey,

This is going to be the hardest letter to write because for you the consequences are so much worse than they are for any of us. You are going to remember what I will forget. You’ll remember how much we laugh, how much we support each other and push each other, and you’ll remember that neither of us has ever felt like this before. You are my world, Karene. You are unequivocally the love of my life. And I know that if the shoe were on the other foot, I would hate you for doing to us what I’m about to do.

Please understand that my reasons for doing this are about more than just protecting a vulnerable girl and her child. I met Alina when she was fifteen. She and her mum were pulled out of the water off the coast of Italy. She begged us to help her mum, but there was nothing we could do. Alina was so brave. She simply wiped her eyes and asked how she could help with the others. But I noticed that she didn’t really belong. She sat apart and wasn’t included. People had discovered that she was part of the Bello family and they were either scared or resentful and so, when we docked, I gave her Julian’s address and enough money to get there. I wasn’t sure she’d make it out of that refugee camp alive.

It was only later that I discovered she was carrying Antony Bello’s child. She begged me to hide her from him. Once I’d researched the man and the things he’d done, I couldn’t let him find her. I managed to get her set up in the UK and helped as much as I could. She called her son Henry after me and I’ve been visiting them once a month, when I tell you I’m seeing Lucy. This is a lie, I know, and I’m sorry, but Alina and little Henry are my penance. I’m giving them the life Lucy and Max should have had if it weren’t for me.

Karene stopped and closed her eyes. He always brushed away the guilt he felt about his sister’s stroke, but clearly it still ate away at him. She should have made him talk about it more, helped him to see it wasn’t his fault. Had that been the source of his nightmares?