“You can’t think of anything? Nothing at all?” Darcy asked, her voice rising. “After all these years, you have nothing to say?”

Darcy watched as her father straightened himself up in the booth. His face looked like an honest one to her for some reason, but she did not know if it was a disguise.

“Darcy,” Dad went on, “I’ve suffered for all the suffering that I brought on you girls and your mother. You might not believe that, but it’s something that I’ve had to live with every day, and I still do. I’d do anything to be able to take back those five years, but I can’t. When I left, I told myself that your mother was a strong woman with a fine job. She’d do all right without me, maybe better. Her mother was strong, too. She’d help. You girls were doing well. I told myself it was my time to be happy. And so, I left. ”

He took a deep breath, wiped his eyes, and continued. “Darcy, I am so sorry for the pain I caused you. Nothing I can say right now is going to take it all away. And I understand if you never forgive me. But I’m here for you. You might not believe me, but it’s true. I’m here. ”

Darcy looked at him, unsure what to believe. She could not make her father into the noble character she once thought he was. She could not wish that fantasy man back into existence. Not all her sorrow could fix what had happened. Not all his guilt could change the past.

Darcy shoved her empty glass away and got up. She thought she heard her father mumble something about being sorry as she ran towards the door, pushed it open and fled into Hakeem’s arms.

Darcy had a half-hearted hope that Jamee would be home when she got there, but she was not. Not only was there no Jamee, there was no further information on her either.

Darcy wanted the world to stop until Jamee returned. Yet she knew the next day would come just like any other.

Mom’s bosses expected her at work, and classes would still be held at Bluford. It all seemed like part of a cruel joke, Darcy thought.

Darcy fed Grandma some stew, and then pudding. She sat with her for a little while. Grandma said little today. She mumbled something about it being a mistake to move back to Alabama with Aunt Leticia. She said she heard wind blowing, even though there was no wind. Finally she drifted off to sleep, and Darcy went into the living room with her mother.

“I saw Dad tonight,” Darcy said.

“You what?”

“He was parked across the street when I got home with Hakeem. The police called him about Jamee. He wondered if there was any news,” Darcy explained.