Last night I wrote Jonás a long email. Now I don’t feel like writing or talking.

My notebook is my guitar. I miss Jonás so much. And what if everything’s over when he comes back? I’m scared, I don’t want it to end, it feels strange that he’s not here. Every love song sounds the same and it’s Orpheus’ fault. The Greek curse has hit all the radio stations.

Tragedy is a change of scale. Jonás’ mum died tragically. Jonás’ tragedy seems to give him a different scale to other people. He feels misunderstood. Feeling misunderstood seems to make him a different size. Perhaps that’s why he’s isolating himself, why he’s running away. But what is there to run away from if we can’t run away from ourselves?

A garden full of trees: that was the locus amoenus in medieval times. My locus amoenus is this notebook. It’s where I play the guitar. Where I feel sad. Where I’m horribly sentimental. Oh, my little notebook that was a bush in a past life.

Wind is easily dealt with. You can close a window, zip up a sweater. But the sea is invincible. In that sense, Poseidon is a fiction. That’s why I find him the most beguiling of all the Greek gods. In The Iliad they give him the sea. Here you go, it’s all yours. The waves of the sea: the blue lines in your notebook. With a favourable wind, perhaps these lines will carry you to shore.

A fork is Poseidon’s dwarf trident. You can stir up the waters in this glass to prove it.

If beautiful Helen of Troy had had an aquiline nose, the course of History would have been different. If I’d bought vanilla ice cream instead of mango sorbet, perhaps we wouldn’t have moved in together so soon after meeting. How can we know? The slightest thing can change the course of any story.

I’m not sad any more. One advantage of being born under the sign of Wild is the Wind is that you can move easily from place to place, like the woman with blue eyeliner told me.

Change. Unlearning yourself is more important than knowing yourself.

Today I saw a dwarf in the distance and thought it was the dwarf from my block, but it wasn’t. This one didn’t smile at me.