By noon the next day, I owe Poppy a small fortune, but it’s worth every penny to hear her relay how the whole shop gasped as Carlos paraded his new Tom Ford tuxedo. He will, at least, look the part.

I thank her profusely.

Meanwhile, I’ve squeezed in a training session at the gym and a painful waxing session with an overzealous beautician named Gretchen. In the afternoon, I attend the hairdressers and have my first facial at a private medical clinic on Harley Street. When I’m done, my body is fighting fit and fuzz-free. My locks are perfectly trimmed, and a soft semi-permanent covers the niggling grey hairs that have been popping through. My complexion is like porcelain.

In the morning, I attend the final fitting for my trouser suit. I’m delighted to find it’s in at the waist – the tummy crunches have paid off.

I’m running the last of my errands for the big do tomorrow – the lymphatic-draining, anti-cellulite massage isn’t half as relaxing as I anticipated and the manicure and pedicure gobble more time than I planned to spare – when Joanna calls to say she’s heard I’ve invited Carlos to the TIARAs and she thinks it’s a terrible idea.

‘He’s your first date. I want you to film a whole other season with more. It’ll look like you’re a couple. Can it.’

I’m in a jewellery shop on New Bond Street, collecting a diamond necklace on loan to me via arrangements with SC6, when she puts the phone down on me. I’m standing there, wondering if Faith might possibly know anyone who can escort me as I’m certainly not going to embarrass myself by asking Harry for his help at this last minute, when my mother calls.

‘Mummy, hi, is everything okay? Why are you calling my mobile?’

‘I dread to think what it’s doing to your brain, dear, all those radioactive waves, but I haven’t been able to catch you at home all week. Grace, about your invite, I’m so excited! Thank you for choosing me. I can’t believe it, dear.’

‘It will be lovely, Mummy. I’m so pleased you can make it. And of course, who else would I bring? Daddy would hate it. It’s definitely a mother daughter thing.’

‘Oh, dear.’ My mother’s voice is soft. She’s touched. I’m… busy.

‘Mummy, I’m sorry I haven’t called you to make arrangements, I’ve been ridiculously busy. These TIARAs take a lot of preparing for.’

‘Yes, dear!’ My mother says something to my father with her hand over the mouthpiece. ‘Right, I don’t want to talk too long on your mobile, but am I meeting you inside or at the station, Grace? Your father wants to be sure I won’t get myself in a muddle.’