‘We no dance on TV?’ Carlos is bewildered.

‘No, Carlos, cooking. We’re here to cook, remember?’

I wanted to finish the series as the one with the date. Now that Carlos is here in all his attentive gorgeousness, I don’t think I can cope with the spectacle.

Poppy offers to show him around set.

‘Poppy, that would be most helpful,’ I say, grateful for her intervention.

‘Carlos, honey.’ She links her tiny arm around his muscled bicep. ‘Come with me, I’ll explain how everything is going to work today.’

‘Sí, I am working for Crazie.’ Letting go of my hand, he tags along.

When they’re out of earshot, Harry whispers, ‘So, Crazy…’

‘It beats him calling me Tolerancia.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘It means grace, in Spanish,’ I explain, sighing.

‘Tolly for short? I quite like it. Does he call you that in bed?’ Harry doesn’t bother to suppress his chuckle. His eyes cloud as he contemplates me. ‘All that dancing, every night.’

‘Let’s just say Carlos and I were spending an inordinate amount of time dancing, but then…’ I can’t bring myself to admit things aren’t exactly working out with my sizzling piece of man-candy.

‘You haven’t tired of all that hot Latino loving already?’ Harry says.

‘Not that it’s any of your business…’

‘But?’ Harry has a teasing smile.

‘But I can do without it. From Carlos. To be honest.’

‘I see,’ Harry says, and we both fall silent.

‘I’ll tell you a secret,’ I say, to lighten the mood. Harry leans in close. I breathe in the smell of him. Sandalwood. Vanilla. Leather. And … Harry. ‘Although the hot loving, as you put it, with Carlos has waned, it was, for a while, so hot, I actually called him my shag buddy. Harry, is that too awful?’

Looking unexpectedly aghast, Harry asks me, ‘Not to his face, surely?’

‘Of course not to his face. Just with Faith, and Poppy, and now you.’

‘Dear me, Tolly,’ Harry sighs. ‘I’m pleased I’m not your rebound man.’

‘It’s not – what? No, it’s not like that.’

‘But you’ve no feelings for the man?’

‘It’s not about feelings, Harry. The whole concept of a shag buddy is nobody gets hurt.’

Harry glances over to where Poppy is showing Carlos around the kitchen. The crew is busy setting up the equipment. Noticing us looking, Carlos waves vigorously and blows me a flurry of little kisses.

‘I think Carlos may have feelings for you.’

‘I picked him up in a salsa bar. We can barely understand each other. I’m sure he’s as happy with our arrangement as I am.’

‘You’ve reduced him to a walking penis,’ Harry suggests.

I burst out laughing. It’s a crude thing to say. But I suppose I have.