I’m in such deep deliberation that I don’t notice how close Lucy has sidled beside me, behind the kitchen bench on set.

‘I love a bit of spice,’ she says. Dipping her finger into a bowl of cumin, she licks it clean. Then taking my curry-stained-from-cooking index into her hand, Lucy manoeuvres it into her mouth, whereon – with Pugsy’s camera right in close on us –she sucks it as if it isn’t a finger at all!

My blue eyes peel back.

Removing my finger from her orifice, I grit my teeth and smile.

‘Cumin: a nutty flavour,’ Lucy laughs, ‘with somewhat bitter undertones,’ Faith, for the first time during the shoot, looks directly at me. ‘A penetrating aroma with hints of lemon, it does have an intensity to it. A most versatile spice. Great with vegetables – and meat – alike.’ With a wink to camera, I dip my finger in the little bowl and lick myself clean.

Then, with a reminder to our viewers to log on to our website for recipe details and to follow us on our new Twitter account – to my great relief, we now have a team managing social media on our behalf – I wrap the episode.

Robin calls cut and the crew erupt in applause.

Harry saunters over and gives me a hug. It’s so healing, I almost forget the trouble I’ve caused and the embarrassments he’s witnessed. I could stay safely in his arms forever. Instead, I pry myself free.

Without sticking around to talk to anyone about anything, I flee for the gym and then to home.

When I get in, I call my mother. I can’t tell her everything that’s going on. But I need to talk to someone.

I update her with a PG version of events. There’s much to share, even in the watered-down version.

When I tell her about Jordan having another girlfriend already and me ditching all his stuff to the rubbish, she says, ‘I’m sorry to hear that Grace. But you dodged a bullet. Let him be her problem now.’

When I spill some of the story about Alex and how I almost impaled him, my mother bursts into a fit of giggles. For the first time since the incident, I see the funny side and laugh, too. She’s in disbelief that Jordan was eating cat food. She reiterates I dodged a magazine spray of shrapnel that are Rhiannon’s problems now.