I look directly at her – it doesn’t matter now if she notices my pupils – and when I see a hint of smug on her beautiful face, I’m consumed with rage. I hate her sitting in my living room in her ghetto-fabulous hipster bottoms and tiny singlet under a hooded top. I hate her pretending to understand what it feels like to be me, when she couldn’t possibly have a clue.

Me, who struggled to keep my boyfriend sexually interested.

Me, who practically climaxed on my own in a public place and later passed out over a man who likes me well enough, sure, but doesn’t fancy me.

Me, whose professional success is now so dependent on Faith, it may as well be hers.

I’m sitting here with talcum powder coagulating on a pimple on my chin. To be me… how can Faith possibly understand?

‘If you’d answered your phone, Faith, none of this would have happened,’ I growl.

‘This is my fault?’

‘It’s not your fault, Faith. But do you honestly believe I planned to go and embarrass myself in front of Jordan?’ I don’t want to mention Rhiannon. I can’t. Not in front of Harry. It makes me look so pitiful. I don’t need this situation any worse than it is. ‘I couldn’t get in at The Tricycle Club. You didn’t answer your phone. I didn’t intend to dress up like a two-bit whore, but my clothes got soaked after that git Alex Sutcliffe stole my cab. I got caught in the rain and it was a godsend when Bip and Ban picked me up. Thank heaven someone was there for me.’

Faith’s cold stare turns glacial. ‘You think I dress like a two-bit whore?’

I hate she is playing it cool, making me the spectacle – albeit Harry is doing his damnedest to pretend he isn’t listening to us fight.

‘No, Faith. You looked fabulous. You always do. Which is obviously why you deem fit to preside over me, because you’re so perfect.’

‘I’m not perfect, Gracie. No one is.’

‘Oh, but you’ve been judging me because I’m not. Bip and Ban don’t do that. They like me just the way I am. Not like you.’

The saddest part is, I know this isn’t all about how Faith is judging me now. It’s about how I’ve started to see myself in her shadow. Ever since Faith became the main attraction on the show, a storm’s been brewing.

‘Then we agree on something, because I would have judged you last night and I wouldn’t have let you humiliate yourself like this.’ Faith waves an especially savage shot of me staggering after Jordan. A roll of my tummy fat spills between the strapless top and the leather skirt. ‘Look at the state of you! High as a kite!’