“You’ve been through such a lot of trauma. I’m sure it’s just a way of your brain coping with what’s happened to you. I’m confident you haven’t lost anything, and that part of you that you think is lost will come back to you as you heal.”

“Is this what it feels like to be a vampire? Like you’ve lost a part of you to death?”

Alexis nodded. “Sometimes. Becoming a vampire means losing a part of your humanity, and it’s a lot to lose. When you are turned, the blood hunger is driving you to complete the change, while your humanity is pleading to die with dignity.”

“Is that why changing someone without their consent is forbidden?”

Alexis looked away quickly. She looked nervous all of a sudden. Then she changed the subject, saying, “Well, your parents will be here tomorrow. I’m sure seeing your mother and father will help ground you back to this reality.”

As soon as they heard about the attack, her mum and dad insisted on travelling back to see her. She couldn’t wait to have a hug from her mum.

“Once they make sure I’m okay, they are going to be mad at me for going out to The Sanctuary.”

“It’s only because they care. Always appreciate having your parents still in your life. I miss my mother every day, even after all this time.”

Katie wanted to ask about her mother, but that would be pushing her too far, she suspected.

“Well,” Alexis said, “I’d better go.”

“Alexis? I’m sorry you feel like this all the time. I’m sorry Victorija did this to you.”

Alexis was silent, but Katie could see a lot going on behind her eyes. “I don’t feel like it all the time. There are moments with people I care about that make me feel alive.”

“With all people?” Katie asked.

Alexis felt like Katie had a direct line to her heart. “No, not all. Very few. Goodnight, Katie.”

* * *

“I cannot be bonded by blood,” Victorija roared and kicked the small table by the couch in her room.

Drasas watched as Madam Anka never flinched. That intoxicated her. Someone who didn’t fear a born vampire must be extremely confident in their abilities. Drasas craved just to be allowed to touch this woman.

“Whether you like it or not, the facts remain the same. You once relied on a witch called Lillian’s advice, I believe? I am more powerful than she could have ever dreamed, so I would take my word.”

“You believe this witch, Drasas?” Victorija said.

“Yes, Principe. I do. Anka wishes to partner with us to bring humanity to its knees, but she needs our clan, and so she needs you to be back to full health. Anka is not going to give us bad advice.”

“Then how do I conquer this? Byron fell in love with her blood bond, Amelia, but that is never going to happen to me. If I don’t drink their blood, then I will go slowly mad, like my father did when he killed my mother.”