Kokoro could manage nothing but to repeat herself. She was also relieved Ms Kitajima had picked a moment when Kokoro was back home. Otherwise she might inform on her. She’d said she hadn’t seen Kokoro in a while, but the fact was they’d only met once, when Kokoro visited the School. Still, this visit must be part of her job as well.

Kokoro stood in the doorway, silently steeling herself, yet inside she felt the warm, tingling sensation of the words Ms Kitajima had said to her mother. Words that Kokoro wanted to cling to.

It’s not Kokoro-chan’s fault at all that she can’t go to school.

Kokoro didn’t think Ms Kitajima had looked into what had happened to her, but the teacher did know that she wasn’t missing school simply because she was lazy.

She understood.

‘Ms Kitajima?’

These thoughts finally let her speak.

‘Yes?’ Ms Kitajima asked, and gazed at her.

‘What you said to my mum – is that really true?’

Ms Kitajima’s almond-shaped eyes wavered a bit, and Kokoro, unable to hold her gaze, looked away.

‘You said it wasn’t my fault I can’t go to school.’

‘That’s right.’

Ms Kitajima nodded. A clear, emphatic nod. Her certainty made Kokoro’s eyes widen, and she looked back more intently.

‘I did say that.’

‘But how …?’

A hundred thoughts whirled in her brain as she looked up at Ms Kitajima, and then, in an instant, she understood. I didn’t really want to ask her how she knew I wasn’t to blame – but rather that was my wish.

The wish that Ms Kitajima would realize all this.

But Kokoro couldn’t say it.

These people are adults and they’re bound by rules. She knew that Ms Kitajima’s kindness would no doubt extend equally to everyone. If Miori Sanada were in trouble, and claimed she couldn’t go to school, Ms Kitajima would surely be equally kind to her.

She knew if Ms Kitajima were to ask her anything more, she might end up telling her everything. In her heart, Kokoro was hoping that Ms Kitajima would ask her, What happened at school? There’s got to be a reason you’re not going, no? Kokoro was impatiently waiting for those very questions.

But what Ms Kitajima said next was completely different.

‘I mean, you’re battling every single day, aren’t you?’ she said.

Kokoro breathed in silently.

Battling. Kokoro had no idea what she meant by this. But the instant she heard it, the most vulnerable part inside her chest grew hot and constricted. Not because it hurt. But because she was happy.

‘Battling?’

‘Um. It seems to me like you’ve struggled so hard up till now. And are battling even now.’