They all seemed like normal children, and none struck her as the sort who couldn’t get on in public school. None of them were especially overweight or particularly depressed, and none of them seemed like losers no one wanted to hang out with.

The only difference was that the junior high kids weren’t in school uniforms.

Two girls a little older than Kokoro had brought their desks together, facing each other, and the snatch of conversation she’d overheard – That totally sucks. For sure, but you know … – seemed no different from the chat at her junior high. When she overheard this little scene, her gut started to ache again, though she also found it strange that girls like these, seemingly so normal, had dropped out of school.

As Ms Kitajima showed them around, one child came up to her complaining that ‘Masaya hit me!’ The child had charm, and Kokoro imagined herself playing games with him if she started at the School. She could see it clearly.

Her mother said she’d stay in the office downstairs with the head of the school, while Kokoro went on a little tour.

Her mother never mentioned it, but Kokoro got the distinct impression that she’d been to the School a number of times herself, before Kokoro made her visit. The way the other teachers greeted her mother made it clear they’d met before.

Kokoro remembered how awkward and uncomfortable her mother had been when she first broached the topic of visiting the School, and realized how her mother, in her own way, was trying her best to be sensitive to Kokoro’s feelings.

When Kokoro stood outside the office where her mother was waiting, she heard what she took to be the voice of the head of the school, saying, ‘Elementary school is such a pleasant, comforting place for most children, so it’s not at all unusual for many to have trouble fitting in when they make the transition to junior high. Especially with a junior high like Yukishina No. 5, which has grown so large, what with other schools merging after the school restructuring. They now have one of the largest number of students.’

Kokoro took a deep breath.

At least they’re not touching on painful subjects, she thought.

And it was true – when she’d entered junior high, she’d suddenly gone from a school with two classes in each year to one with seven, and it had definitely thrown her. She barely knew anyone in her homeroom.

But that wasn’t it.

That wasn’t the reason why she had trouble fitting in.

This woman has no idea what I’ve been through, she thought.

Ms Kitajima, standing beside Kokoro, seemed completely unfazed by what they’d overheard, and knocked firmly at the door. ‘Excuse me,’ she announced. The older head teacher and Kokoro’s mother, seated opposite each other, turned simultaneously to face them.